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" I'm continually working on myself. Nothing ever actually works. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

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" Shooting in Los Angeles is always pleasant and comfortable. Shooting in New York is like being on 'Survivor.' "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" James Thurber was an inspiration because his drawings were so primitive. I am self-taught - I didn't go to art school - so I thought when I started doing them, 'If James Thurber can be a cartoonist, I can,' because his stuff is very raw. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" I started trying to be a writer and failed for years. I tried novels, short stories, sitcoms, movies, plays, anything. And then, to support myself, I had millions of jobs on the fringes of show business. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" It's self-soothing for me to draw. So if I'm upset, drawing makes me less upset. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" In many ways, cartooning is my therapy. I've always said they're like my diaries. It's thoughts and feelings and things I've seen on any particular day. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" We only got clothing once a year, like, right before school began. It's like, that's when you got your clothing. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" In L.A., you can put out a craft-service table anywhere, and it's no big deal. But in New York, people who walk by it on the street get really angry about it. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" Graduation speeches force you to reflect. They are about consciousness. Nothing is better than consciousness. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" I've had to whine for everything I've ever really wanted. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" We are all just little dolls of ourselves. Who occasionally pull back the curtains to reveal the real us. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" I love graduation speeches. I have always loved them; I will always love them. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" In Los Angeles, it's always nice out. In New York, it can be nice out or horrifying. You really have no idea what you're going to get on any given day. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" In New York, all the crews read 'The New Yorker.' In Los Angeles, they don't know from 'The New Yorker.' "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" It was memorable the first time 'The New Yorker' bought a cartoon from me. I had been sending them batches for years every week, and they didn't respond to them. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" What I like about graduation speeches is that they're an opportunity for someone to make sense of their life and to impart that wisdom to someone else. It's like a sanctioned self-help moment. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" When I'm on the set, I'll come up with ideas if I'm sort of just between responsibilities, because there's a lot of sitting around on set. Invariably, though, the stuff I come up with on the set tends to be bad. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" One quintessential moment in time is when you're 22, when you graduate college. And then another quintessential time is as a middle-age man. That's the convergence. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" Of course I loved 'I Love Lucy' and saw every episode over and over again. I found it heartbreaking that Ricky got to be famous and have an exciting life at the Tropicana while Lucy was stuck in that terrible apartment with the Mertzes. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" Actually, I think that 'Seinfeld' tackles the same kinds of issues as 'Six Feet Under,' just in a different way. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" When I was a kid, and I was watching TV, I just loved it so much that I wanted to crawl into that TV. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" I loved Charles Addams more than anything. Still love him. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" Sometimes I'll be reading something online and just get so frustrated because of what people are saying. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" When I was a kid, I would be watching TV shows like, you know, like 'Get Smart' and be like, 'That's what being an adult is.' "

Bruce Eric Kaplan

" I can't get enough of self-help books of all kinds. "

Bruce Eric Kaplan