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" I'm just curious, who's more fit to raise a child? A loving committed same-sex couple or an unmarried 15-year-old with no income and really no skills to parent? "
Ellen Barkin
Child
Skills
Parent
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" With all of the divisiveness that is going on in the country we live in, so much of it is based around just fear of the other. And anyone who does not look like me, walk like me, talk like me, have sex like me, they're the other and I'm afraid of them. And hopefully we will learn that it's just not scary. There's nothing to be afraid of. "
Ellen Barkin
Fear
Walk
Me
" My first movie was 'Diner.' My second movie was 'Tender Mercies.' I did really good work. "
Ellen Barkin
Good
Work
Diner
" Would you just strap some toe shoes on and dance 'Swan Lake?' No. Would you just put a violin in your hand and - ? No. I felt that way about acting, and I was taught to feel that way. I didn't come to it on my own. "
Ellen Barkin
Lake
Acting
Feel
" I'm Method trained. How is this character like me? What does she think of her mother? What does her mother think of her? It's like construction, and then, yes, you hope you're talented and that the universe aligns and captures the kind of laborer's work you've done and whatever else sprinkles down on you, and it's all caught on film or onstage. "
Ellen Barkin
Mother
Me
Hope
" But one of the hardest things for me to do was to access anger. I could do it on stage. But when I did it on film it was hard for me. That probably has to do with the intimacy of film. And my own personal issues with expressing anger. So I had to learn how to do that. "
Ellen Barkin
My Own
Own
Personal
" I have skinny genes. My mother weighs 90 pounds. "
Ellen Barkin
Genes
Pounds
Skinny
" I'm tenacious, I think - I know - and I do also have a quality where if you tell me I can't do something, if I know I can't do it I'm the first to raise my hand and say, 'I can't do that.' But there is a big Bronx, New York Jew in me that just says, 'Really? Really? You think I - yes, I can. I can do it. I can do it.' "
Ellen Barkin
Quality
Me
New York
" When a 12-year-old, a 13-year-old, so desperately wants a baby what she's looking for is the kind of unconditional love a child gives a mother and a mother gives a child. "
Ellen Barkin
She
Child
Looking
" Skinniness is not your friend when you're over 40. I'd like to gain a good 10 pounds, but I did always have a fat, round face that plagued me when I was young. When I started to make movies, I couldn't look at myself. "
Ellen Barkin
Me
Good
Friend
" I remember my first friend who got sick. It was 1981, and the disease was called the gay cancer. I don't think the word 'AIDS' came out until '84. I just remember it being terrifying as more people got sick. We didn't know how you could catch it, you heard all kinds of crazy things. "
Ellen Barkin
People
Think
Remember
" The more powerful you become, some people especially don't like it that you're a woman. I stick up for myself. "
Ellen Barkin
Up
Woman
You
" There's no slow build anymore where you get a little part, then you get a little better part, then a better part, until one day your agent calls you us and says, 'guess what, you're a movie star,' and you say, 'Thank you!' "
Ellen Barkin
Thank You
Better
Day
" No more bare bodies in film scenes for me. For my children's sake, I must stop. The other kids at school keep throwing it up to my children, and they are not kind. "
Ellen Barkin
Stop
Film
Me
" I like being married. I like taking care of people, having someone to make dinner for. "
Ellen Barkin
Like
Someone
People
" When I played Leonardo DiCaprio's mother, they liked that Leo had very hooded eyes and a rounded nose with a ball. They said, They look like they could be mother and son. "
Ellen Barkin
Said
Son
Eyes
" I'd never say I'll never have a facelift, but I'm way too scared of looking like a different person. I have no philosophical or political position on plastic surgery; I just don't want to look crazy. And I don't like not being able to tell how old someone is: It's creepy. "
Ellen Barkin
Look
Political
Say
" I just would never go audition, and yet I was in very visible places where people would come looking for actors. I say I'm lazy, though I'm sure if I were in therapy for a lot of years, it would turn out to be a lot more than laziness. After awhile, it was, like, too embarrassing for me not to go on auditions. I had to be humiliated into it. "
Ellen Barkin
Say
Looking
Me
" There is a certain androgyny to my appeal. "
Ellen Barkin
Certain
Androgyny
Appeal
" Acting is a matter of giving away secrets. "
Ellen Barkin
Acting
Secrets
Matter
" I guess I worry about weird existential things, like how do we spend our final act. This is a very emotional question. I can't answer it without crying. I think, You're 56 years old, what did you do? You raised two good kids. What am I going to do now that is as meaningful as that? I don't know the answer yet. "
Ellen Barkin
Good
You
Worry
" It is clear I was never the Pretty Girl. I had my two front teeth knocked out when I was 10 and didn't fix them until I was 19. I have a crooked smile and a nose that looks like it's been broken 12 times but never has been. My nose was always red, so people called me Rudolph. My whole face is off-center. "
Ellen Barkin
People
Smile
Face
" The way Hollywood portrays mothers - you're either all good and saint-like, or you're all bad. And I think the real honesty of motherhood is not given a voice in movies. I miss that as an audience member. "
Ellen Barkin
Voice
Good
Honesty
" I wish I had a little more ambition. But then what would I do? Turn down more roles with more vehemence? Me no likey worky. "
Ellen Barkin
I Wish
Down
Wish
" A successful marriage isn't necessarily one that lasts until you're dead. "
Ellen Barkin
You
Successful
Marriage
" Gabriel Byrne is an extraordinary human being. We have two extraordinary kids and we work at it. We were always friends. He stuck by me through very hard times, and I hope he'd say the same about me. "
Ellen Barkin
Me
Friends
Hope
" I have no problem being 53. Why would I want to be 35 again? I want to discover who I am in my 50s. And if I tried too hard to look younger, it would seem that I was uncomfortable with who I am, wouldn't it? "
Ellen Barkin
Look
Want
Problem
" I am to a fault an introspective person. But I am not a reflective person - except for a big mistake, and then I really think about it. "
Ellen Barkin
Person
Fault
I Am
" It's no stretch to picture me standing next to Al Pacino or Robert De Niro. Those are ethnic New York men. I'm an ethnic New York girl. Everybody has their limitations. I mean, I should never be cast as Queen Elizabeth. "
Ellen Barkin
Men
Girl
Me
" My husband thinks he's compromising if we have one cook instead of three. "
Ellen Barkin
He
Cook
Three
" Old is the new sexy. "
Ellen Barkin
New
Sexy
Old