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" I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes. "

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" I grew up loving David Letterman and Pee-wee Herman, but as far as live performance comedy, all I knew were the Jerry Seinfeld-type comedians of the world, and that's what I thought live performance comedy was all about. "

" I remember when I first started, the first movie I wrote that didn't get made I was aghast. 'Wait a minute, that's not how this is supposed to work. You write a move and it gets made!' "

" I think expressing yourself and working hard can't help but have great results. Look at Zach Galifanakis. He didn't tweet. He didn't have a podcast. He just went out and did the funniest standup you'll ever see in your life. And he was rewarded for that. "

" Most of the stuff I've written has never even gotten made. It's par for the course. It's a great living, but it also gets very frustrating. "

" Not everyone can be as successful a performer as myself, who gave 10 great performances the first time I ever did comedy, and then toiled in obscurity for years. "

" The big problem in translating is that we had to translate the language. People may not know that we record the podcast in Japanese, translate it to English and then actors play us on the podcast. I'm not actually Scott Aukerman, I'm the actor who plays his voice on the podcast. Unfortunately, it's cost prohibitive on a television show. "

" I came into the 'Comedy Bang! Bang!' TV show with a level of confidence that I don't think I would've had if I hadn't been doing the podcast for three years already. I certainly had to figure out in those three years the sense of humor I wanted to do and the way to talk to celebrities without being incredibly intimidated by them. "

" I probably could be a world-class screenwriter by now if I had spent the kind of work I devote on Comedy Death-Ray to that. But I do okay, in that regard. I mean, my stuff gets bought, so it's all right. "

" The best sketch shows are from a group of tight-knit people who've worked together for a really long time. "

" There's definitely something about the structure of 'Caddyshack' that is unique that no one has ever been able to achieve since then. "

" I was a standup comic, which doesn't necessarily mean you interact with people all that much. In fact when I did shows, I wouldn't talk to the audience very much. Then my friend offered me a radio show, and I thought, you know, I'll try talking to people and see what kind of interviewer I was. "

" After the comedy boom of the '80s, there was a certain formula that comedians had to do and could do in order to be successful touring comedians, and those were mainly observational comedians who had a very strict structure of what made an act, and I think it was very performance oriented. "

" I think that 'Mr. Show' was a huge influence on me. It was literally the reason I started doing comedy, because I was asked to do a bit at The Comedy Store, and B.J. Porter and I went to see Bob and David - who I'd never heard of - do a live show, which was one of the shows that got them the 'Mr. Show' show. "

" Working on 'Comedy Bang Bang,' we're there from 10-7, and that's a pretty light day compared to most other TV shows. Other shows, it's like 10-10. "

" That's one of the benefits of working with a smaller network like IFC. You're awarded more trust, but trust that I really earned. "

" I was always a big fan of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner's '2000-Year-Old Man' sketch. I think it's one of the biggest influences on the podcast, definitely. You'd never say Carl Reiner was the funniest dude on there, because he's just teeing it up, but he knows what questions to ask to lead to great improv. "

" I'm a huge Bob Hope fan, up until about the late '50s. I've seen so many of his movies up until then, and they're a big influence on me and a big influence on Woody Allen, who is basically just ripping off Bob Hope for his first five or six movies. "

" I think you're a better comedian when you're in the moment and you're kind of reacting to what's happening like a real person instead of doing rote memorization. "

" Podcasts feature comedians being as funny as they can be in a non-censored situation. It's really akin to standup in a way. When you go see a comedian in standup, that is the most pure, unadulterated form of their art. "

" After I did 'Mr. Show,' I was basically just a writer for a while. I was really young, and I kinda was like, wow, I'm 27 and I was already on this iconic show, and now I can just coast. But no one likes coasting, because you have to fill your day with stuff. "

" I guess when I was a kid I wasn't the type of person playing a lot of pranks. I was the type of person upon whom pranks were pulled. "

" You see people who are disenfranchised elsewhere coming to Comic Con and making lifetime friends. I love seeing the outcasts of society all bonding together. "

" When I was younger, I definitely had more of a dream, as they say on 'American Idol,' that I would have my own show. I always thought that that was something that would happen, that eventually I would just get my own show because anyone who wants their own show should get their own show. "

" I think comedians should focus on what makes them happy, what art form fulfills them the most. Don't be calculated about it and say, 'Okay, I'm gonna tweet, and I'm gonna podcast, and I'm gonna do standup, and one of those things is going to lead me to my own TV show.' I don't think that should be the goal. "

" I came to one of the first Comic Cons in 1985, when it was just people trading back issues of comic books. "

" If you look at Earwolf, we've tried to have a really diverse stable of hosts. Even my show can get a little 'dudey' sometimes. "

" At the end of Season Four of 'Mr. Show,' instead of doing another season, everyone just thought they wanted to go and do a movie. Kind of like Monty Python. Monty Python went right into 'And Now For Something Completely Different,' and everyone kind of compared 'Mr. Show' to Monty Python. "

" I get inspired when I look at Tom Lennon, who did 'Reno 911!' for six seasons while writing huge movies and directing and also doing other pilots; he did that FX pilot, the 'Star Trek' thing. "

" Your average comedian doesn't know the podcast universe, really. "

" My partner, Jeff Ullrich, and I always thought Earwolf was going to be big. There were a couple of studies before we launched saying podcasts were going to really grow. But I remember so many conversations at the beginning where people would say, 'How are you going to make money with this?' "