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" In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow. "

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" Some people's developmental path has not equipped them to stand up and let go of something. "

" I think that God will provide opportunities and people and experiences, and everything we need to date and ultimately to find the one. "

" Physical presence provides chemical, relational, psychological and physiological effects that virtual relationships cannot. Our brains change in the presence of another person and their behavior. "

" People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari - like they're trying to land the trophy. "

" Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth. "

" Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. "

" The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be. "

" I do believe there are things that we desire that are not in the cards. But more often than not, when people have a desire for a relationship and it's not happening, there are probably issues to be resolved and issues people could work on that would ultimately end in that desire being fulfilled. "

" In both our personal and professional lives, there are times when reality dictates that we must stand up and 'end' something. Either its time has passed, its season is over, or worse, continuing it would be destructive in some way. "

" The best way to advance in a career is to get great results while working with people. "

" Leaders set a very clear path every day, in a thousand different ways, of what the people must attend to, inhibit, and keep it current in front of them. "

" If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes. "

" We know from research that growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you've got to get around people that are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success. "

" As a psychologist, I can tell you that there are people who look very good in a group, but they're very different in a one-on-one situation. "

" Part of executive functions is the ability to look to a goal deadline and assess where an organization is in meeting it. "

" A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively. "

" Closed systems run down and get more chaotic over time. Always get better by being 'open' to outside energy and templates of better ways to function. "

" Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about. "

" What happens with a lot of leaders is that their leadership style is like ADD; they are all over the place with different ideas. They could be driving one idea forward but then move on to something else too soon. "

" The power of being in the physical presence of another person delivers real benefits. "

" Don't use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and don't worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse. "

" If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy, and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do. "

Surround Yourself

" In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are 'ridiculously in charge,' then you own whatever happens in a company, school, et cetera. "

" I fell in love with the topic of leadership. For three decades, that has been a major focus of my hands-on work: listening to and working with leaders, their teams and their organizations. "