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" It's an intangible thing, this thing we call talent, especially if we're in a position to teach and mentor others. "

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" I wasn't a class clown, I just found at an early age that I was able to make people laugh. So I mostly wrote funny stuff instead of writing what I was supposed to be writing. "

" Whether it's an innate ability or an acquired way of regarding the world around us, being labeled as funny can only be accepted as a compliment. "

" I haven't written a brochure yet. It's killing me. I know I have a brochure or pamphlet in me yet. "

" I write. This is what I do. My job is to sit down with my vocabulary, select words, and decide what order they should be placed in an attempt to keep someone's attention and perhaps provide them with a laugh or two along the way. "

" I've been very lucky. I've written for most of my idols and the contemporaries. "

" Writers are born, not made. We can hone the craft. We need to try to encourage someone and make a dialogue, suggesting ways to do something differently or how to improve. "

" I've had a bris, was Bar Mitzvahed and, on occasion, have referred to a temple as a shul. I've never denied it, nor have I disguised it. I am, indeed, a Jew. "

" My job is to put words together and tell a story. If that doesn't work for you, it's not a war crime. "

" I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me. "

" I experimented with my own one-man show a couple of years ago in Aspen when HBO used to have their comedy festival there. I called it 'A History of Me.' "