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" It's not always about wins and losses, but winning two Survivor Series matches is something I will never forget. "

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" We are on the road 250-280 days a year at least, and it's something that, if I have a wife and kids at home, I don't know if I could do it. "

" I want to change the game and break through the nonsense without any Establishment help. "

" I'm a huge fan of comedy. I write material whenever I can. "

" I was a huge fan of Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey, Jan Hooks, obviously Phil Hartman, and a very young Adam Sandler. "

" I'm a huge Jon Lovitz fan. "

" You don't just go to your bosses and say, 'This sucks. I'm supposed to be winning everything.' If you have an awesome idea or a story, or something great, you go, 'Hey, how about we do this,' but when the story is not you, you have to find a way to make it work. "

" I was the World Champ, but I should be better. "

" I, being the ham that I am, always want people looking at me. "

" If I was always doing my own thing, I would be bored out of my mind. "

" Some people are fighting much, much more important battles and much bigger battles, and if we get the chance to put a smile on their face for ten seconds, it's so worth it. "

" When I finally get the chance to say what I want, to talk about where we're going from here on out, when my voice, my words, become the measuring stick for WWE, I think that's the moment that's going to reinvent our entire business. "

" I go out there to steal the show every night. "

" I want to know why people are getting laughs. Why this joke works and why that one didn't work. It all comes back to helping me be a better WWE Superstar. So I love it. "

" WWE has no issues with my stand-up. I do not miss work for any reason and will continue to work around my schedule because I'm a professional and do not allow complacency or laziness. "

" I would love to make my entire career as the guy who did not get cheered. Of course, I'm still going to get cheered by people who think they're smart, and that's fine - they're acknowledging how good I am at my job - but I don't want cheers; I want the boos. I love it. "

" Winning the Intercontinental Title for the first time, in 2010, was a real milestone, as I grew up living off some of those Intercontinental Title matches. "

" When I was 5 years old, Hulk Hogan was the world to a lot of little kids. "

" I live to leave somebody with a positive experience when they've met me, and make someone smile for the day. "

" I know how good I am, and the fans know how good I am. "

" If I have 30 seconds to make everyone remember what I do, I better make the most of it. "

" I wouldn't advocate anything to anybody - everybody's different. Some people can put on those toe shoes and think they're having a better work out than those in tennis shoes. Everybody can advocate their own way of doing something. "

" WWE has given me an out where, any days off that I have, they allow me to work on outside projects. "

" You want to be the best, and you hear a lot of good things about yourself, and then you find out that you're going to debut as a caddy - it's a little gut-wrenching, and it hurt. "

" I study entertainment and apply it to myself to one day become the greatest WWE superstar we have, and it's a lot of work. So I write jokes and material every day... you have to keep people's attention, one way or another. "

" My goal when I first started in the WWE was to stand out. "

" Any comparison to a WWE legend or someone I've looked up to is really cool, but make no mistake about it, my ego is too big to want to be a really good replica of someone else! "

" People can pick and choose what they want out of it, but I feel like I'm a modern day Renaissance man of anything you could want me to do... except be six inches taller. "

" Even though I only get a few days off, I do not stop, whether it's getting some stage time at an open mic or flying to L.A. to watch a ton of stand-up shows. "

" I started wrestling when I was five. I lost my first match and cried in front of my dad, and I never wanted to do that again. "

" After a while, you reach a certain point to where you know what your talent is, you know what you're capable of, and you have to not care. "