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" I've been told I have an aggressive driving style. "

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" At 140, 150, that's when the car starts floating. At 160, that's when you start seeing dead relatives. At 180, it's, like, terrifying and exciting. "

" Terrorists convince thousands of people to kill themselves in the name of God. I can't convince two of my friends to help me move. "

" I would recommend to someone that has the money to experience the experience of giving to another and purchasing me a Veyron. A Bugatti Veyron. That will really make you want to give to your fellow man. "

" I want a '57 Starfire Olds. "

" I think we all carry the seeds of our own destruction. You really have to be aware that just because something is good, it doesn't mean it's not going to trigger a self-destructive impulse. "

" I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities. "

" What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell - I'll never know why! "

" I do stupid stuff like that: I'll call my wife from the road, send her pictures of glaciers. "

" I don't have a car in Manhattan because you have to choose between a car and an apartment. It's that expensive. "

" I'm surprised how hot it gets in the Moab Desert. I knew it got hot, but I didn't think it got, like, Mercury-hot. "

" Any time you can get a muscle car back, it's a good thing. "

" I drove a brand new Lamborghini, the Huracan; it was great. We went on the Autobahn, and we got to drive on the Nurburgring. "

" My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car. "

" When I walked in to read with Edie Falco, it was nice, because I auditioned in New York, and it was very quick. You walk in, there's Edie, the producers, the director, and a camera. I read three scenes, and it was done. "

" I said I wanted to strap guns on an El Camino. When I brought it up at a meeting, they said great. I realized there's no adult in the room. "

" In California, the lines on the road are just a suggestion. They're in the left lane with the left indicator on, so naturally it's time to turn right! Are you kidding me? In your Prius? I know, you're saving the Earth by trying to kill the people! "

" If you're in California, and it's raining, stay home because nobody can drive in the rain. It's like it's raining frogs. They're terrified. "

" When I meet people after stand-up shows, they'll bring their cars. "

" I remember for my 18th birthday, I was going to get a tattoo, and I made the mistake of thinking I was a man and telling my father, and he was like, 'Oh yeah? You better tattoo a new address on your arm, because you're not living here!' And that was the end of that discussion. "

" I had done another show called 'United States of Cars,' which was a pilot that didn't get picked up. And they said, 'You know, we're doing 'Top Gear,' and would you like to meet the guys?' It was the wild - most wild audition I ever had because I never went to a studio or a producer's office. "

" Anytime I get to help the firefighters, I will. I'm real lucky to be in a position to help. "