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" Mother's Day is a torment if your mother is dead. Valentine's Day is a torment if you don't got one. And at some point in our lives, we will be tormented by Valentine's Day even if we're relatively lucky in love. "

Dan Savage

You

Dead

Lucky

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" Most Americans don't care about gay marriage. "

" Christmas can have a real melancholy aspect, 'cause it packages itself as this idea of perfect family cohesion and love, and you're always going to come up short when you measure your personal life against the idealized personal lives that are constantly thrust in our faces, primarily by TV commercials. "

" A huge part of what animates homophobia among young people is paranoia and fear of their own capacity to be gay themselves. "

" One man's blasphemy doesn't override other people's free-speech rights, their freedom to publish, freedom of thought. "

" School is very conformist, and one of the very first conforming that goes on in preschool and kindergarten is gender. "

" How can you tell somebody whose is pursuing happiness that they're somehow not American when that was the very first promise that America made? "

" I got picked on a lot, even by teachers too. I liked to listen to musicals and bake, and my homeroom teacher found out and mocked me in front of the whole class for baking. "

Dan Savage

Teacher

Teachers

" I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is an empty exercise, but are ironically pretty exercised when their boyfriends neglect or forget it. "

" Like it or not children are being raised by gay and lesbian parents all over America - as many as 10 million children. And it does nothing to make their lives more stable and secure to attack their families, to attack their parents to prevent us from marrying each other. "

" I think the best thing for you to do is just live your life. Live a life that's worth living, one where you do what you want to do, pursue your passions. That way, if you meet someone, they'll be joining a life that's already really good. "

" The bullied straight kid goes home to a shoulder to cry on and support and can talk freely about his experience at school and why he's being bullied. I couldn't go home and open up to my parents. "

" To be a straight person and discover you're infertile is almost like discovering you're not a straight person. "

Dan Savage

You

Discover

" I'm allergic to dogs, so I couldn't even adopt what gay men typically adopt when they have that maternal gene. "

" You want to help gay kids, you have to reach them in middle school and high school, when they're being bullied. "

" To be gay is nothing to be proud of. It's in how you are gay that you have something to be proud of, considering the obstacles placed in your path if you are gay. "

" My dad was a homicide cop in the gay neighborhood in the city when gay neighborhoods were desperate, depressing, sad places run by the mob. The only gay people he'd met when I came out to him were corpses. "

" But it doesn't matter what you're doing, it matters how you're doing it. "

" The cultural expectation should be if there's infidelity, the marriage is more important than fidelity. "

Dan Savage

Expectation

Marriage

" Every question is a hypothetical question for everyone but the person who asks it. "

" Preaching to the choir actually arms the choir with arguments and elevates the choir's discourse. There's a reason the right does it and does it well and triumphs. "

" Sometimes I talk to religious people about my column or what I do, and I ask them to, you know, read 20 or 30 of them and then come tell me that the message at the heart of every column isn't, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' In every possible sense. "

Dan Savage

You

People

" When I was in high school I got involved in the fringe theater scene in Chicago, and I met some openly gay people. I could see that it got better, that they were happy and loved and supported. I saw with my own eyes that it got better. "

" I don't write about my life in my column. "

" I don't think that sin and pursuing happiness are not necessarily the same thing. "