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" Mrs Woolf's complaint should be addressed to her creator, who made her, rather than me. "

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" On close inspection, this device turned out to be a funereal juke box - the result of mixing Lloyd's of London with the principle of the chewing gum dispenser. "

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" I have the worst ear for criticism; even when I have created a stage set I like, I always hear the woman in the back of the dress circle who says she doesn't like blue. "

" All I want is the best of everything and there's very little of that left. "

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" I can't afford a whole new set of enemies. "

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" Perhaps the world's second-worst crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. "