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" My dream of dreams is to write Broadway musicals. All of this Twitter and TV writing is just a day job. "

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" My mom and brother are both doctors, and it seems crazy that so many people think science is a mutable idea. "

" To develop your own voice, you have to keep writing a ton, and this is something where I think Twitter is helpful. I use it to write a ton of jokes. You have to write a ton of bad stuff before you know what you're good at. And that's what some people I think have trouble with, the thought of getting past the bad stuff. "

" If you set the attractiveness bar really low, people have to compliment you on your looks when they meet you in person. I'm pretty much a genius. I'm actually applying to work at the Genius Bar based on this trick. "

" I just want to keep doing a bunch of stuff that I don't really plan. I'm so fortunate and lucky that people keep giving me these platforms. Because I'm kind of a crazy person. "

" Support other women! We are taught to be competitive with other women, to vie with them for the 'girl spot' in a group or job. Anything that helps an individual woman is good for all of us! Love and support your friends! "

" I feel confused about what I'm supposed to be doing as a feminist because I do like fashion, and I do like magazines, too. I buy them on airplanes. I like seeing what hot trends are new this fall. It makes me feel very conflicted a lot of the time. "

" The enemy of the modern woman is not women who like fashion or are writing about it. The enemy is stereotypes that come from all places and that tell you to be one way or the other. The enemy is really real sexist people, like Todd Akin, and people who are violent against women physically or sexually. "

" I have, for a few years, been writing comedy prose - short pieces for my blog - because I found it to be a good way to write while I was on a TV show. It was different enough from my scripts that it felt like a break, but it still was comedy and very fun. I like to do comedy! "

" I love math and science, and also, my mom is a doctor. I grew up not even having an awareness that women were not supposed to be good at science. "

" I think writing in a group, even though it can be a challenge - you have to be on your toes all the time - is the way the best comedy gets written. It's very, very collaborative. A lot of comedy writers are definitely introverted nerds. "

" I wrote 'Science For Her!' because I found normal, manly science textbooks to be too intense for my small size-0 brain, and I found normal science textbooks to have covers too heavy for my dainty size-0/size-2-with-bloat hands. "

" If you're lucky enough to have a position where people listen to you, you should say stuff you believe in - but not if you're Jenny McCarthy. Then you should shut up. But if you're right, like Amy Poehler, then speak up. "

" I kind of want everyone to think I'm a crazy person. "

" I am in no way a confident person - except when it comes to what I'm writing. It's just like, this is what I can do, and I have what I think is a pretty strong voice, for better or worse. It's the style I like to write in. "

" I think very long and hard about every possibly offensive joke I want to make. I really hate mean humor and would hate to make anyone reading my jokes feel truly bad. "

" I feel like plenty of people have normal-seeming families that, as they're growing up, feel awful. I'd rather have one that looks weird from the outside but felt really normal. "

" I feel like it's such an exercise in, like, several things to read a ton of 'Cosmo's or 'Glamour's or whatever, all at once. Because you start realizing how they're just talking about nothing for many pages, and they sort of lull you into this hypnotic state. "

" I love kale. Genuinely. I really am glad that I have a platform to express that. I think a good raw kale salad is always just a meaty mouth feel. I also really like kelp noodle pasta with a little kale on top. "

" Tweeting is a great way to practice writing jokes, but there is so much more to comedy writing than just jokes. Jokes are a necessity, but you also have to learn how to write characters, to break a story, to keep coherence between episodes. I've learned more by being a TV writer than I ever could've on my own. "

" There might be people who have never even tweeted before who are just working on their great American tweet. It will be so good that we'll all have to stop Twitter right away. I would like to write the great American tweet. I don't think the great American tweet has been written yet. We'd know. "