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" My problem is with intimacy. That's where I have my biggest problems. "

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" The way James Franco goes to new projects, he does it the way an artist should, which is with a question mark. Like, will this work? "

" There should be comedians who perform only for robots - I'm saying human comedians that only perform for robots. "

" I love painters because I don't paint, so I get to enjoy art; I like collecting paintings. "

" The day of parts of the country hating each other, or rivalries like that... I feel like that's dead. "

" I started comedy in, like, 1998. "

" There's almost no such thing as a hipster. "

" I like to think Portland and L.A. are not rivals; they're cousins. As cities on the West Coast, they're distinct in their own way but still culturally similar. "

" I was actually late to the punk movement because I was too young. "

" I try to maintain a high level of coolness. Which means I've gotta look at lot of magazines. I've gotta look at a lot of ads to see what people want to wear. "

" I want it all... fast. I want to be married, I want to live together... and then somewhere around a year or two years, I get freaked out. I freak out emotionally and then I actually feel like 'Oh my God, who's this stranger in my house?' "

" Ever since I was really little, I started doing a - I don't know how to put this - mentally challenged person on my street. I meant no harm by it, but I remembered how this person talked, and I did it for my mom, and she was not into it. She said, 'You can't do that!' But my dad really laughed. "

" I enjoy getting to work on 'Saturday Night Live', where I get to do people like David Paterson. And then, its like a different muscle to do someone like a bicycle guy on' Portlandia'. "

" You should approach everything in life like, 'What is this?' "

" Sometimes in Portland I'm like, 'Who is funding this city?' It's doing great - there's all these new shops; there's a synthesizer store. Where is this coming from? "

" I'm glad I get to do characters. It's just like a Polaroid shot of whoever the person is, and to me, anyway, that's kind of what life is like. You get a general sense of somebody, and then we're all good, we get it. We understand each other. "

" Art should not be an easy thing. "

" I really like watching TV at home. "

" I'd want to direct a video for Yoko Ono. As long as I got to work with Yoko Ono someday, I'd be really happy. I just think she's such a great artist - it would just be so nice. "

" My favorite song is 'Cybele's Reverie' by Stereolab. "

" The Long Island experience is so strange. You're a satellite around the city, so the presence of the city is always looming. "

" I don't think there's an archetype for the Justin Bieber fan. A Bieber fan just looks like an American. You wouldn't even need a costume to try and resemble one. "

" One person who was interesting was Jello Biafra, who was - of all things - very professional! "

" You have to understand how lucky I feel. I was on 'Saturday. Night. Live.' I played with the Clash! On what planet would I look at anything in my life in any less-than-stellar way? "

" I would never play a character that wasn't true. It's not a moral thing; it's just that it's more convincing if it's a little bit like me. "

" I would see people on TV, or I'd see bands I really liked, and I thought, 'I want that.' "

" Hopefully there will be a day when all comedy is all robots. "

" There's no judgment on bands that continue on who aren't popular; some people get enjoyment out of it. I'm just not one of those people. "

" I've always been a fan of instructional videos. The bass-player ones are insane. The music on them is fascinating. It's not something you hear on CDs or would really ever play in bands. You listen to it and are like, 'What is happening?' It's this blizzard of notes in weird time signatures, and they're trying to teach you that. "

" Chalkboards being used inside the restaurant seem to be a good sign that the proprietors are proud of their food, and that's kind of nice, actually - it's a nice personal touch. "

" I was really close to being this guy who used to be in this band who is still playing and trying to get some recordings together, but I got really lucky. "