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" Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. "

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" The Ancient Mariner would not have taken so well if it had been called The Old Sailor. "

" It is tact that is golden, not silence. "

" All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than others. "

" Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only. "

" The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. "

" Every man's work, whether it be literature, or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself. "

" They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, 'Can he name a kitten?' "

" A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. "

" Self-preservation is the first law of nature. "

Self-Preservation

" To give pain is the tyranny; to make happy, the true empire of beauty. "

" Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. "

" No mistake is more common and more fatuous than appealing to logic in cases which are beyond her jurisdiction. "

" We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms. "

" People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect. "

" Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. "

" When a man is in doubt about this or that in his writing, it will often guide him if he asks himself how it will tell a hundred years hence. "

" Life is one long process of getting tired. "

" It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. "

" Most people have never learned that one of the main aims in life is to enjoy it. "

" Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning. "

" The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way. "

" People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy. "

" If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue. "

" The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance. "