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" Once I walked out of my house into to the Puerto Rican Day parade. It was usually a five-minute walk to work, but that day it took me a half-hour to get to 30 Rock. "

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" Being polite and grateful will make people more inclined to help you. And if people are willing to help you, you may accidentally get something you want. "

" Each experience I go through - marriage, my public life, my personal life - I'm learning as I go. "

" I'm not buying a boat because of writing skits. "

" Growing up, my sisters were both into dancing, so I went to a lot of dance recitals, mostly because there were always pretty girls in leotards. "

" I've never been a shirt-off, pants-off kind of comedy guy. "

" That's what I love about sketch comedy: a sketch is five minutes, then it goes dark, and there's the potential for something else. "

" I am now The Establishment. There's nothing I can do about it. "

" People are getting cynical about the news. It doesn't seem like there's one place to watch where you get the straight dope. You watch the channel that proves your point. "

" I'd like to extend my career a little bit into different genres. "

" A mustache really defines your face. My dad had a mustache when I was growing up, and I can still remember when he shaved it, he looked like a completely different person. "

" You start at SNL when you're young and hungry, but I don't want my pro years to be my SNL years. "

" It's fun to play the type of people you dislike. "

" I think people who live in the worlds that movies are based on end up disliking them. Unless they're from a different time and era. "

" When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that. "