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" One always likes to think that other countries are not like one's own. "

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" I don't feel like a Londoner. "

" I don't do interviews under false pretenses. "

" I want to support the whole idea of the humanities and teaching the humanities as being something that - even if it can't be quantitatively measured as other subjects - it's as fundamental to all education. "

" I think I enlist comedy to a serious purpose. "

" I write plays because writing dialogue is the only respectable way of contradicting yourself. I put a position, rebut it, refute the rebuttal, and rebut the refutation. "

" I don't want to come over as some boringly self-deprecating person. But I don't see myself as a groundbreaking writer in the way plays are structured. "

" I don't know that I want to share all my most intimate secrets. "

" We're actors. We're the opposite of people. "

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" 'The Importance of Being Earnest' is important, but it says nothing about anything. "

" I cannot say that I write with any social objective. One writes because one loves writing, really. "

" I am not a mathematician, but I was aware that for centuries, mathematics was considered the queen of the sciences because it claimed certainty. It was grounded on some fundamental certainties - axioms - that led to others. "

" Time is short, life is short, there's a lot to know. So I skip the entertainers in the newspaper now. I just haven't got time. "

" I'm aware of my old plays and occasionally think about them, but I'm much more anxious about finding the next play. "

" What is the society we wish to protect? Is it the society of complete surveillance for the commonwealth? Is this the wealth we seek to have in common - optimal security at the cost of maximal surveillance? "

" The whole philosophy of modern times is to dissolve distinctions between individuals and deal with them as large collections of people. It's essentially self-interested on the part of authority. "

" Theatre is a series of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster. "

" The idea that being human and having rights are equivalent - that rights are inherent - is unintelligible in a Darwinian world. "

" The more doors there are for you to open, the better the play. "

" I feel overestimated. "

" I'm good at being funny. "

" Writing a new play shouldn't be seen as a mystery belonging to a priesthood, but as a challenge, a technical challenge, just to get into it. "

" From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked. "

" Somebody who likes to do my plays is a good director for them. "

" I'm not that taken with Freudian perspectives. They seem to be overcomplicated. "

" Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. "

" In 2005, I got an email from Belarus Free Theatre. They were emailing playwrights in America and England announcing their existence and saying they would like support from us. I wrote back and asked if they wanted us to visit. They said, 'Yes, we'd love that.' "

" The media. It sounds like a convention of spiritualists. "

" I've never really worked out this thought, and I don't know if I'm really conscious of it, but I can see there's an attraction about writing about a period that's over and isn't going to change colour while you look at it. "