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" One of my friends went on a murder weekend... now he is doing life for it. "

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" Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well. "

" If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me. "

" One Saturday in 1984, I walked into my first AA meeting. I went regularly for six years and only stopped when I came to realize my underlying problem was not genuine alcoholism, but depression. "

" I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers. "

" I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them. "

" Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.' "

" I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways. "

" It's something that has informed quite a lot of my comedy - that idea of someone who is always trying to get in there with the right crowd, always trying to be a certain type of person and never managing it. "

" There were a few teachers who just did not like me because of my face. Once, I was told to stand in the corner until I cheered up. The attitude was, 'Oh, for God's sake, what's the matter with him?' But it's just a natural expression. "

" I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop. "

" I took religion much too seriously, however, and its overall effect was depressing. I would have really liked to discard it, but somehow I couldn't. "

" Possibly I am difficult to live with, but I don't bring my work home much. I'm either busy or not busy. And I don't work from home. I have an office here which has a white wall. No view. I did try working in a room with a view but it was too interesting. Too distracting. "

" I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere. "

" I was on various anti-depressants, but not for long - I didn't function very well on them. I felt sort of flattened out. "

" I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second. "

" I had a longing for ritual, something I could cling to, a routine to make me feel well and contented. I hoped that reading Bible commentaries and theological critiques would nudge me closer to some kind of absolute that I could hold up as a torch to light my way. "

" The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest. "

" But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible. "

" In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource. "

" In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly. "

" I'm not really part of any group or clique or gang because that's always been my nature. "

" I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do. "

" Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character. "

" The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes. "