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" Our standards for motherhood are so high that many of us harbor intense, secret guilt for every harsh word we speak to our children, every negative thought that enters our minds. "

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" There's still something so pure and heartfelt and emotional and genuine about a bouquet of flowers that, even with all the advances of technology and the millions of ways we have to communicate with each other, flowers are still relevant in my opinion. "

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Opinion

Genuine

Technology

" I'm missing work. We didn't have enough money for preschool. I had a panic attack. I couldn't do it. I became one of those horrible foster parents who give the kids back. "

" We were pressured to accept kids we were not qualified to handle. And we do that to people all the time, which is why we don't have enough foster parents. "

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Parents

People

" Writing has always been an interest of mine, and 'The Language of Flowers' combined my experience with foster care with something I've always wanted to do. "

" At Camellia Network, we believe if we can create a way of identifying every young person aging out of foster care, defining what they need, and giving a community of supporters a simple and clear way to fulfill those needs, we can produce radically improved outcomes for youth. "

" I've worked with homeless kids, kids in foster care, and I've never met a kid who couldn't be reached. "

" We are more and more into technology. Everything is texting, and everything is instant. Flowers are completely impractical as a method of communication when you could just send a text. "

" I was a screenwriting and studio art major in college, so even though I don't have any training as a floral designer, I have a very particular visual aesthetic. "

" I traveled a full two years with 'Language of Flowers.' "

" I think that the hardest thing about working with young people in foster care who've been through this kind of neglect and abuse is really to convince them that they are worthy of being loved. And I think because often they don't feel worthy of it, that's why they push people away. "

" My last book, 'The Language of Flowers,' I wrote completely on naptime, when my little kids were asleep. "

" I founded Camellia Network with my dear friend Isis Dallis Keigwin. The mission of our organization is to create a national network that connects every youth aging out of foster care to the critical resources, opportunities, and support they need to thrive in adulthood. "

" First drafts are never any good - at least, mine aren't. "

" I don't think there is anything magical about the language of flowers in real life or in my book. "

" I've always loved the language of flowers. I discovered Kate Greenaway's 'Language of Flowers' in a used bookstore when I was 16 and couldn't believe it was such a well-kept secret. How could something so beautiful and romantic be virtually unknown? "

" I'm very interested in getting inside the heads of people society discards, people on the fringe, especially immigrant kids. We dismiss them without getting into details of who they are. "

" There's a certain freedom in writing when you don't know if you'll ever have an audience. "

" You have to really prove yourself to young people, and if your answer is clear and consistent and loving - even if it's angry and disappointed - what's important is that you're being real and honest and not going anywhere. "

" I have spent a lot of time with foster children over the years - kids for whom I have not necessarily acted as a foster parent. "

" The Victorian language of flowers began with the publication of 'Le Language des Fleurs,' written by Charlotte de Latour and printed in Paris in 1819. To create the book - which was a list of flowers and their meanings - de Latour gathered references to flower symbolism throughout poetry, ancient mythology, and even medicine. "

" My husband was working as principal of an urban transformation high school - the kind of public charter school determined to do whatever it takes to give its mostly minority, low-income student body the education they need and deserve to be successful in life. "

" We all make mistakes, and we all need second chances. For youth in foster care, these mistakes are often purposeful - if not consciously so; a way to test the strength of a bond and establish trust in a new parent. "

" As a college student, I worked as a mentor, and that got me involved in working with young people long before I became a foster parent. "

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

College

Parent

" The names of common flowers change from decade to decade, so I spent a lot of time with old outdated dictionaries, with awful flower names like 'mouse-eared chickweed.' "

Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Old

Time