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" Resume? I wish I had a resume. And if I did, I wouldn't scrub anything from it. Who cares? "

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" I think I saw 'Rushmore' my senior year in high school. You know, Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson, there's such a voice to those movies. It's not like 'Die Hard' where it's like, 'Oh, this is an adventure. It just happened.' It's like you can hear the voice. I was like, 'Oh, I want to do that.' "

" To get what you want out of life, all you can really do is find out who you are, and do that. "

" I'm not a highly outgoing person. I'm pretty guarded when you first meet me. But being in a Speedo for my entire life growing up, because I was a swimmer, and being naked in front of people now, doesn't really bother me. "

" Back in college, I remember shooting stupid videos with my friends. It would be us going around town in capes pretending we were superheroes. "

" I think 'Nathan for You' is a really funny show, along with 'The Grinder' and 'Baskets.' I really like 'Man Seeking Woman.' It's the coolest show because they just do weird stuff, and it doesn't feel weird; they make it normal somehow, which I applaud. And 'Broad City' - I think those guys are awesome. "

" Aaron Peirsol was the man. Ryan Lochte is also insane. Like, if Phelps wasn't around, we'd all be talking about Ryan Lochte as the dude who changed everything, because he's insane as well. "

" On 'Workaholics,' I feel like I'm just hanging out with my buddies being filmed, but on 'Mindy,' I'm around professional funny people who act. Guys like Chris Messina, who are the real deal. I watch what they do and put my own spin on it. "

" I'm not patient at all. I avoid writer's block by writing. I power through with a bad version, so I can move on, and usually once I've gotten to the next scene, I'll discover what was missing from the bad version scene. Then I can easily rewrite it to get back on the right path. "

" Consider what people think of you, but don't be afraid of what people think of you. "

" A lot of people talk about J. Lo, Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj, but, like, dude butts are still here. "

" I'm un-smiteable. That's something I realized very young. "

" Practice being curious; want to know things; ask questions. "

" Although the odds are you're not gonna get the acting job you go out for, it's easier to successfully audition than it is to sit down for a few months and write a movie that's going to actually sell. "

" I was born in the U.S., and that's who I rep. Although when the winter Olympics come around, I'm pretty partial to Norway's success and what they do. "

" I'm pretty restless in bed, so I can lie there for a couple of hours and be like, 'Hey, that happened today. What if that happened at a zoo?' I'll jot the idea down. Then I'm like, 'All right, so now that it's a zoo, that penguin's loose,' or, whatever. I usually start with broad ideas. "

" Whenever I watch a show and twentysomethings have a lot of 'Star Wars' references, I know it's written by a 40-year-old dude. "

" I watch so much TV, it's sad. I watch 'Happy Endings', '30 Rock', 'Parks and Rec', 'The Office', 'Eagleheart', 'Children's Hospital'. 'Modern Family' I guess I'm still kinda watching. "

" The worst thing you can do to a Juggalo is not know about their weird subculture. "

" It was actually the movie 'Rushmore' that made me first realize that I could try writing, but 'Cheers' is the best show ever. The writers on that show created a relationship that writers today still fail to rip off successfully: the Sam and Diane. "

" I've always been a little high maintenance. I'm, like, upper-middle-class maintenance. "

" I'm way more in my head acting than I am when I'm writing. So there's a weird love/hate on both ends. But writing, as tough as it is, I get so much more out of it. It's like climbing Mt. Everest. "

" I'm really just looking for an excuse to get in shape, so if someone could send me a role for a superhero movie, I'll get in shape, then you can just give it to someone else. "

" Portishead's production is just insane beats you would expect to be on a KRS-One album. But then there's this little white girl with an angel voice singing over it. It was a cool juxtaposition. I like 'It's A Fire.' That's a chill song with kind of a military drum thing going on, like a drummer boy. "