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" Some friends said they weren't surprised to find out Napoleon and I were related, but it came as quite a shock to me. "

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" I've always felt like a foreigner wherever I've lived. I don't feel much towards my Italian or Scottish roots, although I do cook the pasta at home. "

" When the plane is delayed, it's not the fault of the girl at the desk. I'm resigned to the fact that everything is out of my control and that air travel nowadays is barbaric. "

" It's all good fun - television and movies and so on - but the good thing in theatre is there's nothing and no one between you and the audience so you can do what you want really. "

" Fame is a silly business. People who chase it are almost always going to be disappointed. "

" There are so many people in film and television that get between a performer and the audience, and that's frustrating. "

" I like writing songs - I keep saying that one day I'll do something with them, but I haven't yet. "

" I am now known as Nina Conti's father and it's wonderful. "

" My temper manifests itself when I can't find something. I could swear that there is a plot against me to put kitchen utensils in the wrong drawers. "

" Procrastination is probably my worst habit out of many. Especially when it comes to paperwork. "

Procrastination

" If you didn't join for the girls, choose another profession. "

" If you look at movies with Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart and all the rest of it, none of them looks like a boy. They always looked like mature men. The audience didn't want to go and see kids. "