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" The best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak. "

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" There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You. "

" They may well say not only is this not true, but I will put in an injunction to prevent publication. No, stories don't go in unless I'm convinced by the people who write them that they're true. And if I'm wrong, then so be it. "

" I get paid to do what I enjoy, not that common a condition. "

" I'd always assumed that I would die at about the same age as my dad - he was 45. I am five years in credit now. I can't get my head around the fact that I am older than he was - ever. "

" My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty. "

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" You have a huge amount of confidence when you're younger, which slowly ebbs away for the rest of your life. You think: 'No problem. I can do that. Why shouldn't I do it?' "

" Internet journalism is not a world we know very well at all. It's conducted more on the screen and less in bars, which makes it rather less useful for getting stories about people throwing up over one another, which is what one's after. "

" All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up. "

" I'm often accused of being prudish, but the opposite is true. "

" This job certainly doesn't win you a huge amount of friends, I accept that, but it is very enjoyable, and deep down I think it's probably quite a worthwhile job. "

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" I've got a very peculiar sort of fame, based on being on the telly. It doesn't mean you have the lifestyle people expect. "

" It is no longer acceptable in British politics to be fat or eccentric or religious. "