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" The source of so much of my anxiety in life and the tensions in my relationship is my anxiety about my kid. It's all very abstract and unfounded and ungrounded. "

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" I get asked why there aren't more female directors all the time. I'm kind of reluctant to talk about it. That's not because I think the question is irrelevant or stupid. It's just that there are so many mitigating factors. "

Lisa Cholodenko

Think

Time

Why

" I feel like I've been observed as an individual more than a gay person, or as a filmmaker with a certain point of view rather than a lesbian filmmaker with a gay point of view. "

" Not only does Annette Bening have a really lovely, deep voice, but she's also a great articulator. I think I'm more of a mumbler. "

" I think when you're writing films that just come fresh out of your own imagination - I think probably anyone who's done that, there are certain themes or styles. "

" There's a lot of technology out there to help people have children in different ways, and later in life, for better or worse. "

" I've done episodic television and some other things that have been written by other people. "

" Making the choice to cast someone in a lead role is a big one. You don't want to squander your opportunity. "

" I had a great love affair in high school and let myself have that love affair and tried to keep it to myself. "

" I tend not to be so attracted to films that force me into an intellectual place over an emotional one. "

" In May 2006, I had our son, Calder. I spent the next couple of years learning how to be a mom. "

Lisa Cholodenko

Years

Son

" I got exposed to art-house cinema and foreign films. I was from L.A., so it was a film culture that I didn't know about. "

" I think I'm interested in these kinds of character dramas, psychological dramas, domestic dramas, whatever you want to call them - comedy dramas. "

" Boundaries get blurry and identities can get lost easily. It's easy to take your partner for granted. "

" I had a nutty career. I was living in New York. Then I got to an age where my friends and sister were having children, and I started to think I needed to orient myself towards a world where it could happen. "

" There is a core value I wanted to illuminate: No matter what kind of family you have - straight, gay, married, single parent, separated, no kids, two kids, 20 kids, whatever - we all go through the human comedy. But if the bonds are strong enough, and the desire is there, you can get to the other side, still together and still a family. "

" Wendy and I both wanted kids, but since we were pushing 40, the clock was ticking. "

" At the base of it, my gut instinct tells me that there's a kind of fundamental misogyny in the culture. There just is. You know, there's just a weird anxiety around women. "

" I don't feel like my films are about gender; they are about identity - but a different slant on identity. "

Lisa Cholodenko

Gender

Identity

" This whole Oscar thing is so political. It's about how much a film grosses, and who's in it, and how well it has been promoted. "

" L.A. is conventional to a hyper-real degree. It's plastic. "

" Great actors help. Every project is different. Sometimes it's completely open, and I've been able to cast who I've wanted. And then sometimes people want a certain kind of actor. "

" I just think self-satisfied people ignore certain signs about other people. "

" I'm in my mid-40s now, and I came out in 11th grade, so I must have been 17. So that's quite a long time ago, and the temperature and the culture was different. "

" I think for any artist, your voice is always evolving. For me, the constant is finding a tension or balance between drama and comedy. "

Lisa Cholodenko

Artist

Balance

" I have a deal with HBO to develop television, and I am also developing a movie called 'The Abstinence Teacher,' which is based on a book by Tom Perrotta. "

" I had pretty cool parents. Still do. "

" Along my path, I've realized that this comedy/drama balance is something that's really interesting to me, and I feel, like, authentic to my voice. "

Lisa Cholodenko

Voice

Path

" If you write something that's personal, there's going to be elements of yourself in it. "

" I was going through some stressful stuff, and I lost feeling in my face and in my tongue. So I went to a doctor. He said he didn't think I had MS or a brain tumor. He said, 'I think you're just stressed out.' "

" I was a student at SF State, and I honestly didn't know where I was headed. I thought maybe something in the social sciences. But I happened to be living with a group of people, and one person was a film student. I was always keen on and aware of what she was doing. "