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" When the Bible was first published, bathhouses were mandatory, no one could read, and only the people in the Church could write. "

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" I paint. I still do it every day. I never neglected it. It's a gift. It's almost like religion for me. It's the quickest way for me to become still. "

" To make money, I did portraits . The truth is so bizarre! I'm kind of embarrassed. I was like a 19th-century pirate painter. I'd say, 'Your mom would love a painting of you!' A salesman! I'd hawk paintings. "

" Most people don't really like to pose. It is difficult to get them to be present and relaxed under this kind of molecular scrutiny. I want them to understand I'm not simply painting them: I am painting them within a precise moment in time, as a shadow moves across their eyebrows. Then it is gone. The moment is over. "

" These days, many people are unwilling to see their dog as an animal. Let's face it: they are cute, but they will bite. Not only do I look at dogs as animals, I look at myself as an animal, which explains why, since I got my permit, I drive with my head out the window. "

" My father became the Mayor of Indian Wells, California, a tony desert enclave of rich, conservative Republicans. "

" Latin people love to dance. Nothing is more powerful than a Latin man doing 'Mambo Number 5' by himself. "

" We buy the tabloids to witness someone else's life go wrong, so we can feel a bit better about our own troubles. "

" I personally won't have anything live in my house that can't move the car on street-sweeping day or grate carrots. Plus, I don't mind being talked to harshly. I want to be challenged by something more complex than a Wheaton terrier. "

" My creativity all comes from the same place. I wear one very comfortable, large hat. "

" I'm savoring being in California every minute, learning that traffic is just God's way of saying 'Hi.' "

" I remember when the palm trees were short and Tomorrowland was modern. "

" I was a top-notch cartoon model for Hanna Barbera, and they made me into a cartoon series called 'Devlin,' which ran for seven years, and I was on lunch pails and coloring books and all of that. It's really interesting being a coloring book when you're young - most kids colored in coloring books, but I made money off coloring books. "

" I love the idea of metamorphosing and changing, the legalized insanity of acting. "

" I love the idea that movies, like 'Fast Times,' can be iconic and change people's lives in little, tiny ways. "

" I am getting to that age where I am too old to play the boy next door and too young to play Uncle Fester. "

" As an American roughly the same age as Barack Obama, I will not be ridiculed or reduced to a stereotype. I want to age appropriately. "

" My mom and dad are New Yorkers who left the tenement streets of the Bronx and came to Los Angeles when 'West Side Story' was real. They have the scars to prove it. "

" Younger audiences are into me because I did 'Stuart Little,' and that movie was a very big deal for kids. And in 'Angels in the Outfield,' a generation of kids learned about magic and angels. And then, of course, there are these two blond girls named Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and I played their nanny on their TV show. "

" In Beverly Hills, around 3 P.M. on Bedford Drive, a strange rite occurs. All the men and women who have had facial surgery leave the their surgeons and walk up and down the street bandaged like mummies in Prada, waiting for their loved ones to pick them up. "

" I've always loved silent movies. I recently saw 'Tilly's Punctured Romance' at the Academy, which is the first comedy made with Charlie Chaplin in 1914, and I sat there, and I couldn't believe that the entire audience of 2,000 people were laughing that hard from a movie made in 1914 - and there were no words; it was all faces. "

" I do think Jesus would skip church on Sunday morning and instead visit the nursing homes and retirement homes where so many have abandoned their loved ones. "

" Everybody knows if you don't have an examined life, you go mad. "

" For a long time, I lived in West Hollywood and watched young gay men strolling through life having no idea what came before. They didn't know about the riots at Stonewall, the vice squad, the raids. "

" I think people are obsessed with their pets because pets don't speak. It's that simple. After you hang up the phone, you never hear a dog say, 'You're a liar, and you are making the same self-sabotaging mistakes that have kept you single for far too long.' "

" I have a nice little movie career, and I write plays and do my act. "

" Before I paint someone, I always ask, 'How much examination can your body take?' 'How much do you want me to see?' "

" Our family business was operating batting cages. The pitching machine spit out the balls at lightning speed. Don Drysdale, Sandy Koufax. Whitey Ford. 50 cents for 12 pitches. Of course, my mother ran the place, and I was her slave: selling candy, hosing down the street, and the most dreaded of all jobs, feeding the pitching machine with balls. "