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" Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. "

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" I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know. "

" Here's the truth. Your teens and twenties are your Plan A. At 50, you're assessing whether Plan B or Plan C or any of the other plans you hatched actually worked. Your sixties and seventies, they're an improvisation. "

" I worked nightclubs all through my 20s, and I was a teetotaler. "

" When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least. "

" Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him. "

" In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living. "

" When you're a kid, you lay in the grass and watch the clouds going over, and you literally don't have a thought in your mind. It's purely meditation, and we lose that. "

" I have a lot of friends who say that one of the freedoms of being older is you don't care what other people think, which I don't think is right. You care what other people think, but if you're comfortable in your own skin, that doesn't bother you. "

" There are no sure answers, only better questions. "

" Put me on solid ground and I'll start tapping! At my age they say to keep moving. "

" The Horny Toad in Cave Creek has great food. When I'm in Arizona, I have at least one meal there. I have a daughter who lives out there, and Dee Dee Wood, who was the choreographer on 'Mary Poppins,' lives out there. I still get out there once in a while, but not in the summer. "

" I'm not a loner. I have to have a life partner. "

" I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind. "

" One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel, Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. I went over there and spent the afternoon with them. And pumped him with questions. I must have driven him crazy. I spent a lot of happy hours at Stan's house on Sundays just talking about comedy. "

" For some reason, as time gets short in life, wasting time escaping through entertainment bothers me. "

" Just knowing you don't have the answers is a recipe for humility, openness, acceptance, forgiveness, and an eagerness to learn - and those are all good things. "

" I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business. "

" Don't worry so much. Most of the things you worry about never end up happening. "

" I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired. "

" I wanted to be a radio announcer. "

" I was 5 years old when the stock market crashed; I lost everything. "

" The secret to keeping moving is keeping moving. "

" I never wanted to be an actor, and to this day I don't. I can't get a handle on it. An actor wants to become someone else. I am a song-and-dance man, and I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do. "