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" Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good. "

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" What a crazy idea to put me on a family show! "

" I've never come into anything successful before. I've always been hired by horrible radio stations with horrendous reputations and nothing to lose. "

" I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do. "

" I think people of lesser talent will become stars. "

" I will never feel successful. "

" It's no treat being in bed with me. "

" It causes me great pain to sue the company I work for. Nevertheless, I had to do it. Suffice it to say, there's a dispute and I believe I haven't been given what is mine. "

" I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself. "

" Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low. "

" I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated. "

" I feel blessed, I really feel fulfilled. "

" I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death. "

" When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience. "

" We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds of events that go on the channel without me. I have started producing a sound for the channel. "

" I don't talk about my salary. "

" And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and let someone see the full range of emotions. If you're going to be strong on the radio, you got to let it all out, even the ugly stuff. And you can't apologize for it. "

" I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting. "

" My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing. "

" Okay, well, I guess I'm still a kid. Because when I get really angry and fired up and I feel like my back is up against the wall, I will say vicious things. "

" I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe. "

" I'm not looking for a paycheck. "

" Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny. "

" You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career. "

" I didn't listen to executives. "

" If you're a Christian you don't sit there and worry about what somebody else is doing, if they're happy and they're committed in a relationship. "

" I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough. "

" I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful. "

" Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse. "

" I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference between the pope wearing a large hat and parading around with a smoking purse and an African painting his face white and praying to a rock. "

" I'm the voice of honesty. "