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" You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls. "

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" Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant. "

" There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them. "

" When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out. "

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" Everybody line up alphabetically according to your height. "