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" You know what's nice about Montreal? Not only is it a beautiful city, but you have Cuban cigars. "

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" Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. "

" Canadians send us great hockey players. You also send us wonderful performers, from the beginning, with Mary Pickford. "

" I'm after the bucks because bucks give you the power, power gives you the freedom, and freedom lets you send money home to your mother. "

" When the show is over we still have to pay our rent, we have to buy food. We have to do all the same things that you do. "

" Some people came up with story lines where Colonel Potter moves in with Klinger, and we become a 1950s' odd couple. I said, 'Come on, let's do something significant.' "

" As a kid, I had to be funny. "

" The third year of MASH was when I realized I was a hit. "

" If you want good sketches, go pick up Sid Caesar. The best of Your Show of Shows. That's the greatest sketch comedy you'll ever see on television. "

" I was thrilled as a kid to point out my sister as she danced and sang on the stage, and she was pretty good artistically. She was a great inspiration to me. She was the one who sort of led me into show business. "

" The dresses I wore are in the Smithsonian now. "

" I was the first man to put on a dress and play it straight. That was something very fresh. Still is. "

" All the plays I do are comedies. I love listening to people laugh. I couldn't do the dramas like 'All My Sons.' "

" Before 'M*A*SH*,' people in the industry didn't know what to do with this guy with the big nose. "

" It took me years to get out of the bargain basement. I always wanted to walk into a men's store and buy a cashmere sweater. "

" I don't think anybody is wanting to put me back on the air. But I'm certainly out there trying. "

" You can't explain why people are friends and why those friendships last, but there certainly is magic in it. It's just something that you treasure. "

" I certainly don't have any airs about myself. "

" I do Broadway because I refuse to succumb to the stereotypical things that Hollywood does to a performer. "

" I would like to do a nice comedy/drama feature with a good part, but nobody's asked me to do a film. Maybe it's because they don't know what to do with a guy in a dress. "

" It's a difficult thing to overcome, but I've been quite fortunate. I haven't been out of work, literally, since 'M*A*S*H' went out of production. "

" Never stay with friends or relatives. You end up living on their schedules. "

" The benefits from stardom as Klinger outweigh any setbacks. It's a double-edged sword. What makes you famous is what interferes with getting other roles. "

" I can't imagine that I will ever be on anything like 'M*A*S*H' again. "

" I enjoy 'Murphy Brown,' but I am shocked that people really like 'Married... With Children.' These shows are toilet humor, and none of them have good characters. "