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" You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church. "

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" The only rule I got is if you slide, get up. "

" Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore. "

" I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won't matter if I get this guy out. "

" The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. "

" When cerebral processes enter into sports, you start screwing up. It's like the Constitution, which says separate church and state. You have to separate mind and body. "

" People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a really good helmet throw. "

" That was real baseball. We weren't playing for money. They gave us Mickey Mouse watches that ran backwards. "

" The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything. "

" You have two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds. "

" I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another. "

" I would change policy, bring back natural grass and nickel beer. Baseball is the belly-button of our society. Straighten out baseball, and you straighten out the rest of the world. "