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" Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. "
George Carlin
Petty
Things
Sweaty
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" Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. "
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" Pet foods come in a variety of flavors because that's what humans like, and we assume our pets like what we like. We're wrong. "
Mary Roach
Wrong
Pet
Like
" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Cat
Wear
" I kind of imagine myself at eighty, a cat lady. "
Juliette Lewis
Imagine
Cat
Pet
" I think there's something great and generic about goldfish. They're everybody's first pet. "
Paul Rudd
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First
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" Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. "
James Herriot
Comfort
Cats
Pet
" My biggest pet peeve are just girls who go to sports bars who have no intention on caring what teams are playing, like they're looking for just a night out. That drives me more crazy than anything else. Like, don't pretend to be a sports fan. "
Jerry Ferrara
Me
Pet
Crazy
" I was home schooled in high school but was definitely the nerd in middle school. I was in three academic clubs, a huge book worm, and the teacher's pet. I was kind of an easy target for bullies. "
Nicole Anderson
Home
Book
Easy
" I'm scared to death of being poor. It's like a fat girl who loses 500 pounds but is always fat inside. I grew up poor and will always feel poor inside. It's my pet paranoia. "
Cher
Feel
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Girl
" When you're fighting for social justice, one of my biggest pet peeves is speaking out of ignorance. "
Eva Longoria
Ignorance
Pet
You
" Don't buy furs: that's No. 1. You can start with that. Then spay and neuter your pets. We destroy millions of them a year. Go to an animal shelter for a cat or dog. And read a book about how to care properly for your particular pet. "
Loretta Swit
Pet
Animal
Book
" Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time. "
H. G. Bissinger
Think
Time
Me
" I am an enthusiast, but not a crank in the sense that I have some pet theories as to the proper construction of a flying machine. I wish to avail myself of all that is already known and then, if possible, add my mite to help on the future worker who will attain final success. "
Wilbur Wright
Myself
Help
Success
" I was a dog in a past life. Really. I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take. Like, Hey, I know him. "
William H. Macy
Life
Walking
Dog
" I heard that Jesus had a pet dinosaur. Evolution must be a myth then. "
John Bacon
Heard
Pet
Dinosaur
" Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. "
George Carlin
You
Good Example
Good
" I have a pet goat. "
Ryan Holiday
Pet
Goat
" Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? "
George Carlin
Than
Maniac
Going
" Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals 'love' them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more. "
Edwin Way Teale
Animals
Love
Live
" In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. "
George Carlin
First
Person
Left
" Cats have it all - admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it. "
Rod McKuen
Want
Company
Only
" The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. "
Bob Hope
Fast
Dogs
Miles
" My parents were very permissive when it came to animals. As long as we earned the money to buy them and built whatever structure it was they were going to live in, we could have any kind of pet we wanted. They would have let us have a rhinoceros if we could have afforded it. "
Maggie Stiefvater
Animals
Pet
Parents
" My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo. "
Billy Connolly
Tell
Parents
Pet
" As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind. "
Cleveland Amory
Cats
Cat
Time
" I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. "
Karl Pilkington
Say
House
Best
" I don't micromanage, but I do care deeply about every product we make. Every one goes through me, and I try most of our products before they go to market, including our John Paul Pet flea and tick shampoo. If I don't like it, it's not coming out. "
John Paul DeJoria
Go
Pet
Try
" The cat is a dilettante in fur. "
Theophile Gautier
Dilettante
Fur
Pet
" The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. "
George Carlin
Family
Restaurant
Real
" I do not believe that I will ever write an adult novel from an animal's point of view unless someday it becomes suddenly appealing to me to make a narrator a mentally ill pet. Never say never. "
Andrea Seigel
Say
View
Animal