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" I never feel guilty or anything after a podcast; I feel better. "
Nikki Glaser
Never
Guilty
Anything
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" All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. "
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My Life
People
" I'm in a relationship and have never been on Tinder as a single woman, but from what I have seen, I think it is always good to have a picture with an animal to show that you are kind. "
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" I always told my parents, 'Just give me till I'm 27 to do comedy, to make it'. "
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Just
Me
" If anyone's going to bring about mass extinction, it'll be Donald Trump. "
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Bring
" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "
Nikki Glaser
Fighting
Pink
Good
" I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally. "
Nikki Glaser
Go
Fun
Me
" I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid. "
Nikki Glaser
Kid
Saying
Things
" As a female comic, if you talk about sex in any capacity, you will be branded a 'sex comic,' so I might as well go full force on it. "
Nikki Glaser
Talk
Well
Go
" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "
Nikki Glaser
Wikipedia
Actually
Celebrity
" I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind. "
Nikki Glaser
Humor
Smile
Like
" I'm not a bleeding-heart feminist, but I do like to call out that stuff in my act. It's nice when you find a perspective that no one has hit on. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
You
Perspective
" All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked. "
Nikki Glaser
Humor
Pretty
Relatives
" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "
Nikki Glaser
Moment
Space
Best
" My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever. "
Nikki Glaser
Logic
You
Need
" I started out splitting my time between the Kansas City and St. Louis comedy scenes, which both had bluer sensibilities than other cities that I've worked. "
Nikki Glaser
Out
Other
Comedy
" I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty. "
Nikki Glaser
Living
Love
Place
" I had a guy on Facebook for, like, years just asking if he could PayPal me money, and of course I have to say no when, really, I'm just like, 'Why wouldn't I? He doesn't want anything for it.' "
Nikki Glaser
Want
Say
Money
" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "
Nikki Glaser
Ignorant
People
Understand
" It strikes me as pretty interesting and cool how girls support each other in this business. I've never felt so much support in my life than from my fellow female comedians. I attribute much of my success to some of them. "
Nikki Glaser
Success
Life
Cool
" I just realized I have probably spent more time in a strip club than Rihanna has, and that is saying a lot because she goes a lot! "
Nikki Glaser
Club
Because
More
" I think people are afraid of the concept of open relationships. Like, 'I will not accept this.' They don't have to! No one is telling them to. But it might work for other people. "
Nikki Glaser
People
Open
Relationships
" I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that. "
Nikki Glaser
Say
Saying
Fun
" Make eye contact with cute strangers. Give guys your email. Email is safer than a number, or at least it feels that way. "
Nikki Glaser
Cute
Way
Number
" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "
Nikki Glaser
Funny
Her
Thought
" A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business; that's not what people want from us. We're valuable because we're funny and because we have a voice and a point of view. "
Nikki Glaser
Funny
People
Voice
" The more you work in this business as a comedian, the closer you get to just being yourself onstage, on camera, the more well received you are. "
Nikki Glaser
Camera
Business
Yourself
" I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. "
Nikki Glaser
Thinking
Remember
You
" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "
Nikki Glaser
Me
Thought
Important
" Why am I sharing this part of my life when it opens me up to judgment? But part of me wants to share that part of my life because I think non-monogamy is a normal thing for human beings to want. "
Nikki Glaser
Want
Think
Sharing
" Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast. "
Nikki Glaser
Never
Radio
Room