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" I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I'm so glad I'm not having kids. "
Nikki Glaser
Anymore
Kids
Having
Related Quotes:
" I was inspired by people telling me I should be a comedian. I tried it and had a really good first set, so I was like, 'OK, I'll do this forever'. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
People
First
" I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid. "
Nikki Glaser
Kid
Saying
Things
" I don't know what that is because to me, Feb. 14 is Rob Thomas' birthday, and that's only what I acknowledge it as. I just like to celebrate that as Rob Thomas' birthday. "
Nikki Glaser
Like
Me
Know
" College is good discipline. That's what I learned there: pull an all-nighter, get it done, and get an A. I'm the biggest procrastinator, and I learned how to be an efficient procrastinator. "
Nikki Glaser
Good
Pull
Done
" I knew what I wanted to do, so I was constantly working on material once I got to KU. "
Nikki Glaser
Got
Knew
Material
" I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set. "
Nikki Glaser
Thinking
Remember
You
" All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked. "
Nikki Glaser
Humor
Pretty
Relatives
" I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny. "
Nikki Glaser
High
Funny
Someone
" Jimmy Fallon's strengths are that he's fun, and he's good at impressions, and he's musically inclined. And my strength is that I'm a joke writer, but I also have no filter, and I think that that's not a talent per se, but it's just a thing about myself that I have found that people like about what I do. "
Nikki Glaser
Strength
Good
Myself
" Being pretty was always a very big thing growing up. "
Nikki Glaser
Pretty
Growing Up
Growing
" All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think. "
Nikki Glaser
Life
My Life
People
" That's the compliment I get most often - 'You guys are so honest.' "
Nikki Glaser
Honest
Guys
Compliment
" Nothing really shocks me anymore. "
Nikki Glaser
Shocks
Anymore
Nothing
" I'm learning that if you put yourself out there and make fun of yourself first, it really does work. People can't really make fun of you. "
Nikki Glaser
Work
People
Learning
" My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight. "
Nikki Glaser
Fighting
Pink
Good
" There's actually a thing called Wikifeet that's the Wikipedia of celebrity girls' feet. "
Nikki Glaser
Wikipedia
Actually
Celebrity
" I think I deal with my anger toward my relationship or about my relationship or about my friendships or my family - I deal with it on stage in a passive-aggressive way, and that can be very harmful if it gets back to them, which it always does. "
Nikki Glaser
Anger
Think
Back
" I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life. "
Nikki Glaser
Know
Done
Doing
" I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe. "
Nikki Glaser
Funny
Her
Thought
" Things end in this business. Shows get canceled, or you walk away from them - but most likely, things get canceled. "
Nikki Glaser
Things
You
Away
" I've talked about my relationship without consulting my boyfriend about whether or not he wants that talked about, and I've also taken a story that has happened with us and, for comedic purposes, exaggerated it or changed it in some way that made him look not great. "
Nikki Glaser
Relationship
Great
Way
" My boyfriend and I have finally learned how to embrace confrontation as something that will only help us as a couple. "
Nikki Glaser
Finally
Only
Embrace
" The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space. "
Nikki Glaser
Moment
Space
Best
" I nannied for a couple of months. The kids were super-funny; it made me wish I grew up in a comedy household. But nannying is demoralizing. I'm just not cut out for it. "
Nikki Glaser
Just
Comedy
Kids
" Temping is the worst. I would rather starve and be homeless than nanny or temp again. "
Nikki Glaser
Rather
Homeless
Again
" I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'. "
Nikki Glaser
Enough
Early
Grateful
" Up until recently, I've said, 'I don't notice the sexism in the industry.' "
Nikki Glaser
Said
Up
Sexism
" People are just so insensitive because they're ignorant; they don't understand, so they're scared of what they're ignorant of. "
Nikki Glaser
Ignorant
People
Understand
" A college degree was very important for them; it wasn't for me. So I picked English because I'm fluent. I thought it would be the easiest to do. "
Nikki Glaser
Me
Thought
Important
" Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying. "
Nikki Glaser
Laugh
Alone
Sharing