Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Want
Decision
Back
Related Quotes:
" If you go to a bad movie, it's two hours. If you're in a bad movie, it's two years. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Bad
Go
Hours
" We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Present
Present Moment
Contact
" When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Small
Someone
Environment
" I like definitive things. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Things
Definitive
Like
" People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Who
Deserve
Lied
" Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Smoke
Water
Chess
" I have this old '57 Porsche Speedster, and the way the door closes, I'll just sit there and listen to the sound of the latch going, 'cluh-CLICK-click.' That door! I live for that door. Whatever the opposite of planned obsolescence is, that's what I'm into. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Live
Listen
Sound
" There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don't really think most people really understand what they've seen. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Show
Think
Appreciate
" Men want to make women happy. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Men
Women
Make
" You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Doing
You
Feel
" A lot of stuff I do out of pure obsessiveness. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Stuff
Lot
Out
" Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Traveled
Road
Less
" Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Comedy
Wife
Essence
" The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Knowing
You
Talk
" You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. "
Jerry Seinfeld
You
Know
Essence
" There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.' "
Jerry Seinfeld
Know
Think
Men
" Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Writers
Level
Keep
" A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Me
Joke
Play
" That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. "
Jerry Seinfeld
True
Spirit
Me
" If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Get
You
Think
" Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Begin
You
Think
" Stand-up is hard. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Hard
Stand-Up
" Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Energy
You
Understand
" When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Home
Feel
Face
" Pay attention, don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Back
You
Attention
" I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward. "
Jerry Seinfeld
You
Care
Confused
" I love being a dad. I just love it. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Love
Just
I Love
" I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their calculating - is this the exact right mix? I think that's - to me it's anti-comedy. It's more about PC-nonsense. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Right
Race
Gender
" I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Proud
New
More
" The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Comedy
Friends
Laugh