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All Quotes by author - Cristela Alonzo

" A lot of my material was based on my family. "

" As a kid, I really wanted to have my own show. But when you grow up in poverty, people tell you nothing is possible. So I kind of gave up on that dream. "

" Because I grew up in McAllen, we would watch Televisa a lot. "

" I always knew, even as a kid, that my mom had a really rough life, and I always wanted to make her feel happy and to make her feel good. "

" I can't tell a story about a working-class family on a premium channel that you have to pay to get. "

" I couldn't afford therapy, so I just watched 'Frasier.' Season 4 was a breakthrough. "

" I did the 'Wizard of Oz' in third grade, and I was a witch. "

" If I'm laughing, you know I'm either very happy or very sad. I cope with things with jokes. "

" I grew up in a very Catholic household. We were pretty conservative. "

" I love basketball. I love football. And to me, I think that's a dimension that you don't see with a lot of female leads, especially. I have a genuine love for it, and I always thought it was very interesting to show that side of me. "

" I love multi-cam. I grew up in a border town in South Texas right next to Mexico, a million miles away from this world... and to me, multi-cams are just like theater. "

" I love the Rio Grande Valley. I always say it's home - Texas is home. I've been out in L.A. a little over ten years, and I still get so excited when I go back home. It just feels comfortable; it makes me smile. "

" I'm not trying to represent the whole Latino community. There are too many different cultures, and Latinos will always say, 'My family doesn't do that.' "

" It might sound dramatic and a little grandiose, but as a Latina, I would like to be someone that gives a voice to my culture. "

" I understand a lot of celebrities lose weight because they have the opportunity to get in shape and become healthier, but when you get so polished, you can't tell the story of a blue-collar family anymore. "

" I used to love 'Murphy Brown' as a kid. I didn't even understand half of the jokes that were going on, but I loved the character so much that they stood out. "

" Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards. "

" My family didn't have money, and I think it made me fearless. I'm willing to try everything and not be afraid because what's the worst that can be happen? It might not work out, but I can't be worse off than when I was a kid. "

" My family doesn't understand trying to chase your dreams because they were all about survival. "

" My favorite movie is 'Die Hard.' It doesn't have pinatas and mariachis. It's just a good movie. "

" My goal has always been to just kind of show how my family, we might be a different culture, but we're completely like everybody else. "

" My mom ending up passing away, and I got really depressed and didn't have money for therapy, and so I started doing standup to cope with my mom's death. "

" My stand-up has a lot of performance in it, and I loved doing it so much that, after years, I put the idea of having a show on the back burner. "

" That's what makes a good show. It doesn't target one group. It tells a story everyone gets. "

" The chances of anyone of any race getting their own show are, like, .001 percent. "

" The first eight years of my life, we lived in an abandoned diner - we were basically squatters. "

" There aren't any concrete steps to becoming a comic. "

" The Texas thing is such a big deal because whenever I see Texas in a TV show, they always show slow-moving cattle and cowboys with the hats. I wanted to show that Texas isn't a stereotype. "

" To me, a multi-cam is just like the feeling you get from the audience. "

" Two brothers and a sister, my niece, my nephew... we're a very small group. We're very close, very tight-knit. We spend every holiday weekend together. "

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