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All Quotes by author - Evan Esar
" A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. "
Twice
Other
Costs
" A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended. "
Like
Out
Fire
" America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. "
Education
America
Money
" A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. "
Always
Character
Man
" Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose. "
Lose
Everything
Character
" Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either. "
Up
Stand
Man
" Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. "
Statistics
Facts
Science
" Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment. "
Today
Disappointment
Tomorrow
" Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. "
Woman
Unless
She
" The girl with a future avoids a man with a past. "
Past
Man
Future
" The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last. "
You
First
Last
" Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. "
Habits
Beings
Human
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