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All Quotes by author - George S. Kaufman

" At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one. "

" Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. "

" I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra. "

" I understand your new play is full of single entendres. "

" Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch. "

" Satire is what closes on Saturday night. "

" The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine. "

" When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay. "

" When I was born I owed twelve dollars. "

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