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All Quotes by author - Joe Bob Briggs
" Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. "
Almost
Men
Joke
" Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's. "
Phones
Everyone
Our
" As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager. "
Class
Now
America
" A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators. "
World
Draft
Instrument
" Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever. "
Mail
Discourse
Fleeting
" Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action. "
You
War
Fight
" Faith is like a kernel of wheat. "
Like
Kernel
Faith
" I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise? "
I Am
Been
Am
" If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it 'romance and adventure.' "
Adventure
Sex
Violence
" In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us. "
New
Words
Us
" In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions. "
Drink
Start
Late
" It's not a crime to get drunk. "
Crime
Drunk
Get
" The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother. "
Fight
Street
Best
" The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle. "
Wine
Always
Good
" There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11. "
Until
End
Everything
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