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All Quotes by author - John Cleese

" A man will give up almost anything except his suffering. "

" A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people. "

" But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with. "

" Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited. "

" He who laughs most, learns best. "

" I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game. "

" I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing. "

" I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive. "

" If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat? "

" If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth. "

" I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. "

" If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?' "

" I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation. "

" I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit. "

" I'm not saying Obama is right on everything. Of course not. He may be wrong on a number of things. But what I do know is that he behaves like a very, very sane man almost all the time. "

" In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both. "

" I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London. "

" I would say that I began with a very edgy, very driven personality and after a sufficient amount of therapy over many, many years, I managed to become rather relaxed and happy. "

" Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough. "

" Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not. "

" The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip. "

" The most creative people have this childlike facility to play. "

" The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting. "

" The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats. "

" Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. "

" You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change. "

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