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All Quotes by author - Nina Conti
" Acting is seductive. It looks so much fun. I did dally with other things. I did pupillage in a law firm, but I didn't like the look of how many files the lawyer I was working with had to take home every night. It looked like a hideous amount of work, when actors were having nice lunches and discussing books. "
" Because I'm around comedians all the time, in my downtime I tend not to watch comedy. Something the whole family enjoys is 'You've Been Framed!' It satisfies all of us. It's universal, and we all laugh a lot. "
" Having a puppet is a way of having opposing opinions - I say a thing; he says the other. "
" I always said I wanted to be scientist, but I didn't really have the staying power. "
" I could never be on stage on my own. But puppets can say things that humans can't say. "
" I do laugh when I hear myself saying, 'I am a ventriloquist.' I am definitely suited to it, though. I took it and ran with it quite hungrily. It is not for everyone, but it is just the chance to write for a character. "
" I don't want to tie myself into one area or the other. I think its important not to rely heavily on either TV or stand-up, but to let them work off of each other. "
" I feel Scottish when with English people, and when I'm with Scottish people, I realise I'm English. "
" If I have a gig in the evening, I get 'the doom' at about 5 P.M., when I think I'm getting flu. "
" If I'm on my own, I'll speak to 'Monkey' to generate new stuff for the act. I mean, I don't do it for moral support, although I wouldn't say that's out of the question. In fact, I could do it, I might do it... yes, I think I should actually start doing it more. "
" I had a terrible dream when I was pregnant; I dreamt the baby had a ventriloquial mouth, but there was no hand hole; I had to flick the mouth down to get words out. "
" I like my squishy, red, high-heeled Vivienne Westwood jelly shoes. They make you seem like you're much more of a go-er. "
" I looked into studying psychoanalysis, wrote to the governing body and was about to start the year where they psychoanalyse you, four times a week, before you get to do it yourself. I just thought I'd taken the ventriloquism as far as I could. My act is so deconstructive, and I'd made all the monkey jokes anyone wanted to hear. "
" I make napkins talk in restaurants, socks talk on car journeys. There is an awful lot of puppetry going on in the house. "
" I'm training to become a giggle doctor. It's a kind of hospital clown who changes the atmosphere on the ward and helps recovery. It's about making patients laugh but also much more. "
" I think acting is overrated. I'm not sure I enjoyed it. You never get to write your own roles. It's wonderful for some people, but I found it nerve-wracking. I was too busy worrying that no one would give me their words to speak. "
" I think I've got it pretty easy compared with somebody who works at a desk nine to five. I'm just working for an hour in the evening. I get a bit breathless, as I have to talk non-stop because of the puppets. "
" I thought people would think I only wanted to be an actor because my dad was, rather than because I had an innate calling. "
" It's sad, the lottery. Good projects get funded by it, but there's an air of desperation about it. "
" I've started running three or four times a week, which prompts millions of sketch ideas. "
" I was really awful at auditions. There's something about sitting down and saying into the camera: 'I'm Nina and this is the name of my agent.' That makes me just die inside. "
" I will remember the night I won the New Comedy Awards, as I was young and unformed, so that sticks in the mind. I've also done a fantastic gig at the Royal Albert Hall, which was amazing. Appearing in the Christopher Guest film was also a real highlight, even if I was only in it for a couple of minutes. "
" My dad is a much more flamboyant character than I am. I think that's why I couldn't see myself going into straight acting. I always just felt daft. "
" My puppets are far more liberated than I am. Ventriloquism is a useful way of expressing myself. "
" Once I'm on stage, there's just no time for a sip of water - I've always got my hands in puppets! My voice is raw by the time I finish. "
" So many actors are lively-minded, creative people who just tread water in this awful way, waiting for the phone to ring and doing their hair for auditions. It feels like a bit of a dreamer's life - as opposed to a sensible ventriloquist's life. "
" The character of the monkey just grew from something out of his face and my granddad's personality. They fused, and that's what I ended up with! The monkey belonged to a friend of mine, and I saw that it had such a little beguiling face and it grew from there. "
" The most satisfaction I get is from doing a good gig, which really makes you feel in control. If you've worked a room really well, it makes you feel great. TV is a bit more difficult; there are more factors that can screw it up along the way. "
" The way I talk to the puppets is real, and it's in the moment, and it's seeing what will happen. It's not something that is scripted. "
" When I'm gigging, there's an uneasy shift when I pull a puppet out. People look at me aghast and I feel I have about 20 seconds to win them over. You even get the prejudice among other people in your own profession. "
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