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All Quotes by author - Penn Jillette

" Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.' "

" Behaving morally because of a hope of reward or a fear of punishment is not morality. Morality is not bribery or threats. Religion is bribery and threats. Humans have morality. We don't need religion. "

" Cars mean nothing to me. I'm not a car guy. "

" Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It's just ganging up against the weird kid, and I'm always the weird kid. "

" Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty. "

" Everyone's goals are the same with very small differences. I mean, the goal of a socialist and the goal of a libertarian are exactly the same. The goals are happiness and security and freedom, and you balance those. "

" I don't believe in vengeance. Really, when all is said and done, I probably don't believe in punishment. "

" If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up. "

" I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that's the same color. I tend to overthink things. "

" I love the idea that horror and fear is a celebration of health and life. "

" I'm always fascinated by the use of the first-person plural talking about sports. "

" I'm an amazing mama's boy. "

" It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous, bullying laziness. "

" My tolerance for crazy people is, I think, high a tolerance as you're ever going to find. I love being around David Allen Coe. I would have loved to hang out with Tiny Tim. I can listen to Sun Ra on a tape-recording rant. "

" Poker has the feeling of a sport, but you don't have to do push-ups. "

" 'Psycho' is fascinating philosophically, because the point of 'Psycho' is that everything that's bad happens because of love. "

" Religion cannot and should not be replaced by atheism. Religion needs to go away and not be replaced by anything. Atheism is not a religion. It's the absence of religion, and that's a wonderful thing. "

" Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals. "

" The highest ideals are human intelligence, creativity and love. Respect these above all. "

" The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth. "

" The purpose of art is to collide the intellectual and visceral together at the highest speed possible. "

" There is this tremendous amount of arrogance and hubris, where somebody can look at something for five minutes and dismiss it. Whether you talk about gaming or 20th century classical music, you can't do it in five minutes. You can't listen to 'The Rite of Spring' once and understand what Stravinsky was all about. "

" Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, 'That's nice.' "

" When I was 15, 16, 17 years old, I spent five hours a day juggling, and I probably spent six hours a day seriously listening to music. And if I were 16 now, I would put that time into playing video games. "

" When you look at the actual numbers, the number of people who died after 9/11 was greater than the number of people who died in 9/11, even if you are talking Americans. But you know, I don't like to talk Americans. I want to talk everybody. More innocent people died after 9/11 because of 9/11 than died in 9/11. "

" You have two choices with Obama. You either believe that he is a man of Christ... or you think he's a liar. And I'm surprised by the number of atheist free thinkers that support Obama, and their argument is essentially, 'He's lying about being religious 'cause you have to do that to get elected.' It's a horrible reason to like somebody. "

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