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All Quotes by author - Simon Cowell
" Anyone who goes on 'The X Factor' to make big money will be in for a big shock. "
" Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I'm bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,' and then I start laughing and I can't stop. "
" As an actor, I really like Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think he's a genius. "
" At 20, you're cocky and you think you can rule the world, and you get it all wrong. "
" Britain's got talent, enormous talent; that's very obvious. "
" Choosing how you vote should not be a snap verdict based on a few minutes of television. "
" Everyone who turns up on 'X Factor' does it because a door has been closed to them at some time in their lives, and this is the only shot they have got. "
" Every show I've ever, you know, produced, essentially it's the show I want to watch myself. "
" Every time I sat in a chemistry lesson, I thought, 'What am I doing this for? I don't ever want to be in a job that involves a Bunsen burner.' "
" For the music business, social networking is brilliant. Just when you think it's doom and gloom and you have to spend millions of pounds on marketing and this and that, you have this amazing thing now called fan power. The whole world is linked through a laptop. It's amazing. And it's free. I love it. It's absolutely brilliant. "
" Have I got a black book? Yes, it's called a mobile phone. I do get offers. There is no shortage of people if you want to go on dates - working in TV, living in L.A., it is there if you want it. "
" Holding auditions in front of an audience is testing. "
" I am quite miserable because I'm never satisfied with what I've got. You're always looking for that next high, and that is what I would define as happiness. "
" I break up very well. I am a good breaker-upper. "
" I can't admit things; that's why I can't go to funerals and stuff like that. I find it very, very difficult to deal with that kind of reality. I shut myself off totally because it affects me so badly. "
" I could just sit back and get someone to spin my achievements, I suppose, but when I see others do it, I always think, 'Why are you telling me how successful you are?' I am always suspicious of those kinds of boasts. "
" I couldn't think of anything worse than being in an unhappy marriage. It worries me because I've seen it destroy people. "
" I didn't have any qualifications when I left school - I had three O-levels. "
" I do a couple of hundred press-ups a day but I haven't been to a gym in years. "
" I don't have sophisticated tastes. I have average tastes. If you looked in my collection of DVDs, you'd see 'Jaws' and 'Star Wars.' In the book library, you'd see John Grisham and Sidney Sheldon. And if you look in my fridge, it's, like, children's food - chips, milkshakes, yogurt. "
" I don't like kids that are pushed into things by stage mums, but when I can see they are having a good time, they're excited and enjoying the process, then I think it's wrong to discriminate. "
Having A Good Time
" I don't mind being cast as some kind of a pantomime baddie, but I am very fair in business. I always have been. I pride myself on being fair. "
" I don't think I can do this anymore. "
" I don't want to tell a 15 or 14 year old what they should be doing. I want them to tell me. And that's what I got when I met Justin Bieber for the first time. "
" I'd say the most dangerous thing I've ever done is probably bungee jumping in Thailand. "
" If I go into a relationship with an artist, which at most is going to last five years, we have a 100-page contract covering every eventuality. Whereas with marriage you go into it with no contract, with laws that date back hundreds of years, and I don't think that's right. "
" If I had one dog, I'd want a hundred. If I had one kid, I'd probably want a hundred. I mean, it's just the way I am. "
" If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless. "
" If I was gay, why wouldn't I admit it? It wouldn't harm me. "
" If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session. I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways. "
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