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" Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I'm bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,' and then I start laughing and I can't stop. "

Simon Cowell

Singing

Thinking

Laugh

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" Anyone who goes on 'The X Factor' to make big money will be in for a big shock. "

" If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless. "

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People

" I've always treated the music business as a business. "

" I have total respect for anyone who discovers a band like Snow Patrol. I would be hopeless at signing a rock band, or anything alternative, cause I don't know what that audience are into and I don't particularly like that kind of music. "

" Everyone who turns up on 'X Factor' does it because a door has been closed to them at some time in their lives, and this is the only shot they have got. "

" Not everybody is perfect, and I don't think we should be looking for perfect people. "

" I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. "

Simon Cowell

Beans

Spaghetti

" My proudest achievement has been the success of the shows and artists I have been involved with, because they were made in Britain. "

" For the music business, social networking is brilliant. Just when you think it's doom and gloom and you have to spend millions of pounds on marketing and this and that, you have this amazing thing now called fan power. The whole world is linked through a laptop. It's amazing. And it's free. I love it. It's absolutely brilliant. "

" I suggest we bring some normality back to this country and say if you are carrying a knife, there must be zero tolerance. If it was up to me, everyone caught with a knife would get an automatic ten year sentence. "

" The object of this competition is not to be mean to the losers but to find a winner. The process makes you mean because you get frustrated. "

" I've always been petrified of working for a boss who I didn't like but who I was in fear of, because I wanted my salary. "

" I hated school, but I love work. "

" Money brings you security and choice. You can make decisions in a different way if you have a lot of money. But when you have nothing, you have a naivety, and a more fearless attitude because you have nothing to lose. "

" The minute you start assuming that the audience is very happy to see the same show again, you're dead. "

" I don't think I can do this anymore. "

" At 20, you're cocky and you think you can rule the world, and you get it all wrong. "

" No one really has any job security anymore, including myself. "

" We have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable. "

" Holding auditions in front of an audience is testing. "

" The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes. "

" I don't want to tell a 15 or 14 year old what they should be doing. I want them to tell me. And that's what I got when I met Justin Bieber for the first time. "

" I couldn't think of anything worse than being in an unhappy marriage. It worries me because I've seen it destroy people. "

Simon Cowell

People

Marriage

" I get very anti-social, depressed and irritable with people. I don't have time for them. I can't make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days. "

" I am quite miserable because I'm never satisfied with what I've got. You're always looking for that next high, and that is what I would define as happiness. "

" I'm obsessed with cleanliness for myself, so I will take a bath three times a day, sometimes a steam twice a day in addition to that. "

" I'm not that musical. I don't really know how a record is produced, and, funnily enough, I don't want to. "

" As an actor, I really like Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think he's a genius. "

Simon Cowell

Think

I Think

" There's no need for me to get married. I live with someone; we're happy; end of story. "

Simon Cowell

Need

Story