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" A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, gregarious. Introversion is viewed somewhere between disappointment and pathology. "

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" Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the opposite temperament to complete you. "

Susan Cain

You

Attract

" It's important for a parent to learn to take delight in a child whose behavior might seem mystifying. In the case of an extroverted parent with an introverted child, it can be learning to see the inner riches of your child that may not always be expressed on the surface - but are there. "

" In a way, education by its nature favours the extrovert because you are taking kids and putting them into a big classroom, which is automatically going to be a high-stimulation environment. Probably the best way of teaching in general is one on one, but that's not something everyone can afford. "

" I prefer listening to talking, reading to socializing, and cozy chats to group settings. "

" Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologists debate to what degree. "

" We need to do teacher training to educate them about what temperament means. Shyness is painful and you want to help a child with shyness - but the underlying temperament of being a careful, sensitive person is to be honoured, valued and respected. "

" I'm insatiably curious about human nature. I feel very lucky that as a writer I get to learn so much about it just to do my job right. "

" Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what's expected of them. Parenting can pose unique challenges for introverted parents, who fear that their own painful experiences will be repeated in their children's lives. "

" It's never a good idea to organize society in a way that depletes the energy of half the population. We discovered this with women decades ago, and now it's time to realize it with introverts. "

" Many introverts feel there's something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you're not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time. "

" I get a lot of letters from introverts asking how they can meet people. The key is to make sure that you are doing things you enjoy. "

" Any time people come together in a meeting, we're not necessarily getting the best ideas; we're just getting the ideas of the best talkers. "

" As a parent, if give yourself what you need, your children will watch you doing that and will give themselves what they need. "

" In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who's comfortable 'putting himself out there.' "

" Shyness is about the fear of social judgments - at a job interview or a party you might be excessively worried about what people think of you. Whereas an introvert might not feel any of those things at all, they simply have the preference to be in a quieter setting. "

" I use a lot of old-fashioned expressions. "

" In most job interviews, people say they are looking for people skills and emotional intelligence. That's reasonable, but the question is, how do you define what that looks like? "

" Men are more likely to be introverted than women are, but it's really very slight. But the real difference I think is in how it plays out, how it relates to cultural stereotypes. "

" Your tendency to be inward-directed or outward-directed is huge; it governs every part of the way you live and work and love. "

" I actually find extroversion to be a really appealing personality style. "

" Even when the attention focused on me is positive, I am uncomfortable being looked at by a lot of people - it's just not my natural state of being. "

Susan Cain

Attention

I Am

" The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness. "

" What's interesting is relative levels of introversion tend to stay the same. If you went back to your reunion from school, you would probably find that if you ranked everyone in your class into terms of levels of introversion and extroversion you'd still be the same rank. "

" One thing I'm hearing a lot is from teachers who have felt that there's something wrong with the extreme group learning, but felt like they couldn't say that out loud. And apparently the discussion is now opening up. I think change is going to be a long time coming. "

" I've never given a speech without being terrified first. "

" I'm not saying abolish group work - I think there's a time and a place for people to come together and exchange ideas, but let's restore the respect we once had for solitude. And we need to be much more mindful of the way we come together. "

" I'm insatiably curious about human nature. "

" Originally, technology was pretty clearly on the side of introversion. It allowed introverts to connect with people, to express their ideas in a less stimulating way: you're sitting alone behind a computer. But I'm starting to think that the pressure to self-present constantly online is becoming so extreme. "

" You can't pick up a business magazine ever without seeing the word 'collaborate' splashed all over it. I think people are probably feeling assaulted by the need to always be on and always be interacting. "

" You will find this hard to believe, but I've never laughed as much as I did when I was a corporate lawyer. When you're working 16 hours a day for months at a time, you get punchy. Everything and everyone seems hilarious. "