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" All human life can be found in an airport. "

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" It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. "

" The one good thing about our school was the Cadets; I chose to be in the Navy, purely for the sailor's outfit. A pity we had to give them back. "

" I know some of my parents' friends think 'Little Britain' is in incredibly poor taste. But swimming the Channel? You can't really say anything negative about that, can you? There's nothing better than making your parents happy. The glee on my father's face that day was amazing. "

" I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it. "

" I have always liked shows that have laughter in them. "

" When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they're so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening. "

" I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck. "

" Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself. "

" I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first. "

" I don't get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful. "

" The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for. "

" I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts. "

" Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life. "

" I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football. "

" I still enjoy my life, and I feel like I've achieved enough things that if I never did anything again, I'd feel confident that I'd still have made my mark in some way. But maybe the self-loathing bit is the element that makes you strive for more. Makes you strive to be better. "

" I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer. "

" I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman. "

" It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things. "

" My favourite restaurant of all time is Mildreds on London's Lexington Street. It's a little vegetarian restaurant and is really fun and healthy, too. It was the first place I went to in London and really liked. That was 20 years ago, and it is still my favourite. "

" There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way. "

" I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines. "

" I love wearing drag. "

" I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll. "

" I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous. "

" I've done panel shows, which I enjoy, and on those you're recording half-an-hour of TV and sometimes they film for two hours. But with 'Britain's Got Talent,' you're on camera for eight hours, with a large theatre audience watching - and in between you're being filmed for ITV2 as you eat your lunch. "

" I haven't put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end. "

" I love telling stories. I love the intimacy between the writer and reader. When you write sketches it's over in two minutes. When you write a book the characters have to have a bit of emotional depth. "

" I was born in 1971, and Tom Baker was sort of my obsession as a kid and that's why we got him to do the voice over for 'Little Britain' because I was actually obsessed with Tom Baker. "

" I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you. "

" I thrive off the company of others, I love being sociable. "