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" As a child, I was lucky enough to spend each summer with my grandmother. "

Stephanie Coontz

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" Marriage is generally based on more equality and deeper friendship than in the past, but even so, it is hard for it to compensate for the way that work has devoured time once spent cultivating friendships. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Unilateral divorce has decreased the bargaining power of the person who wants the marriage to last and has not engaged in behavior that meets the legal definition of fault. On the other hand, it has increased the bargaining power of the person who is willing to leave. "

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" Inequality was written into the creation of the American Republic when our Founding Fathers denied voting rights to women. "

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" Some people may long for an era when divorce was still hard to come by. The spread of no-fault divorce has reduced the bargaining power of whichever spouse is more interested in continuing the relationship. And the breakup of such marriages has caused pain for many families. "

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" When I speak on work-family issues to audiences around the country, some of the biggest complaints I hear come from individuals who are described by the census as living in 'non-family households.' They resent the fact that their family responsibilities literally don't 'count,' either for society or for their employers. "

Stephanie Coontz

" The closer we get to achieving equality of opportunity between the sexes, the more clearly we can see that the next major obstacle to improving the well-being of most men and women is the growing socioeconomic inequality within each sex. "

Stephanie Coontz

" During the 1960s, rising real wages for low-income and high-income workers, due in part to rapid economic growth and the spread of unionization, worked in tandem with expanding government support systems to improve Americans' well-being. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Our goal should be to develop work-life policies that enable people to put their gender values into practice. So let's stop arguing about the hard choices women make and help more women and men avoid such hard choices. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Feminism needs a political program because gender inequality has been fostered by political decisions. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Marriage is no longer the only place where people make major life transitions and decisions, enter into commitments, or incur obligations. "

Stephanie Coontz

" As Americans lose the wider face-to-face ties that build social trust, they become more dependent on romantic relationships for intimacy and deep communication and more vulnerable to isolation if a relationship breaks down. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Cohabitation itself doesn't cause ineffective parenting. "

Stephanie Coontz

" When we assume that 'normal' people need 'time to heal,' or discourage individuals from making any decisions until a year or more after a loss, as some grief counselors do, we may be giving inappropriate advice. Such advice can cause people who feel ready to move on to wonder if they are hardhearted. "

Stephanie Coontz

" People feel better when their spouses have good friendships, over and above the effects of their own friendships. "

Stephanie Coontz

" A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Marriage can provide a bounty of emotional, practical, and financial support. But finding the right mate is no substitute for having friends and other interests. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Giving married women an independent legal existence did not destroy heterosexual marriage. And allowing husbands and wives to construct their marriages around reciprocal duties and negotiated roles - where a wife can choose to be the main breadwinner and a husband can stay home with the children - was an immense boon to many couples. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Educated parents find more time to spend with their children by reducing time dedicated to home-based activities that involve little interaction with children. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Unemployment, low wages, and poverty discourage family formation and erode family stability, making it less likely that individuals will marry in the first place and more likely that their marriages will dissolve. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Putting women's traditional needs at the center of social planning is not reverse sexism. It's the best way to reverse the increasing economic vulnerability of men and women alike. "

Stephanie Coontz

" In my work as a historian and in my relationships as a friend, teacher, wife, and mother, I have come to think that the most useful way to understand the past and make it work for you is to look at the trade-offs and contradictions that, however deeply buried, can be uncovered in every memory, good or bad. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Usually, Valentine's Day comes and goes with just a day or two of news media attention to courtship and marriage. "

Stephanie Coontz

" One thing standing in the way of further progress for many men is the same obstacle that held women back for so long: overinvestment in their gender identity instead of their individual personhood. "

Stephanie Coontz

" There is no denying that we have made great progress toward gender equality. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Contrary to the fears of some pundits, the ascent of women does not portend the end of men. It offers a new beginning for both. But women's progress by itself is not a panacea for America's inequities. "

Stephanie Coontz

" As a historian, I've spent much of my career warning people about the dangers of nostalgia. "

Stephanie Coontz

" The origins of modern marital instability lie largely in the triumph of what many people believe to be marriage's traditional role - providing love, intimacy, fidelity, and mutual fulfillment. The truth is that for centuries, marriage was stable precisely because it was not expected to provide such benefits. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Whatever their relative valuation of the single and married states, most societies in history made sharp distinctions between those who married and those who remained single: They were seen as mutually exclusive ways of life, with different legal rights and social obligations. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Graduating from high school is certainly a good idea, but it's no longer much protection against poverty. "

Stephanie Coontz

" Being a feminist is not about how successful, talented, and assertive you are in your own life. It's about whether you support the struggle to overcome the limiting gendered stereotypes and barriers that force so many women to restrict their aspirations as workers, to fulfill their aspirations as parents, and force so many men to do the opposite. "

Stephanie Coontz