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" Marriage can provide a bounty of emotional, practical, and financial support. But finding the right mate is no substitute for having friends and other interests. "
Stephanie Coontz
Marriage
Friends
Support
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" Too often, tributes to the home-cooked meal assume every family has a schedule that gets everyone home by 5:30 P.M. And too many recipes treat cooking as a solitary pursuit that requires the cook - still most often Mom - to take time away from other family interactions and chores. "
Stephanie Coontz
Home
Treat
Time
" For most of America's history, people typically aspired to acquire 'a competency' rather than great riches. A competency meant the ability to comfortably sustain a household without depending on others. 'Competence' also meant being capable and reliable. The American Dream was that people who worked hard and capably could support their families. "
Stephanie Coontz
History
Great
American Dream
" As Americans lose the wider face-to-face ties that build social trust, they become more dependent on romantic relationships for intimacy and deep communication and more vulnerable to isolation if a relationship breaks down. "
Stephanie Coontz
Relationship
Romantic
Communication
" Putting women first would mean strengthening America's social safety net, because a higher proportion of single-mother families live in poverty here than in any other wealthy country. "
Stephanie Coontz
Women
Live
America
" Averages are useful because many traits, behaviors, and outcomes are distributed in a bell-shaped curve, with most results clustered around the middle and a much smaller group of outliers at the high and low ends. "
Stephanie Coontz
Middle
Group
Because
" Heterosexuals were the upstarts who turned marriage into a voluntary love relationship rather than a mandatory economic and political institution. "
Stephanie Coontz
Political
Relationship
Love
" Because we live so much of our adult lives as singles, it no longer makes sense to assume that marriage is the only way people will organize their obligations and commitments. "
Stephanie Coontz
People
Sense
Way
" Contrary to the fears of some pundits, the ascent of women does not portend the end of men. It offers a new beginning for both. But women's progress by itself is not a panacea for America's inequities. "
Stephanie Coontz
End
Progress
Women
" Over the ages, some societies have accorded far less value and respect to singles than to married individuals. "
Stephanie Coontz
Far
Married
Over
" No single choice about how to organize work and family life is right or possible - for every family. And every choice has tradeoffs. "
Stephanie Coontz
Choice
Life
Possible
" If we want to revive and achieve the American Dream, we need to change a situation in which the people whose hard work makes this country run cannot earn a living wage, while bankers, speculators, and corporate elites - the real 'takers' in today's society - skim off far more than their fair share. "
Stephanie Coontz
Change
Today
Work
" We must recognize that there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to be single or to be divorced, just as there are healthy and unhealthy ways to be married. "
Stephanie Coontz
Married
Single
Just
" As a child, I was lucky enough to spend each summer with my grandmother. "
Stephanie Coontz
Child
Lucky
Enough
" Social and economic policies constructed around the male breadwinner model have always disadvantaged women. "
Stephanie Coontz
Always
Women
Social
" A primary motivation for introducing no-fault divorce was, in fact, to reduce perjury in the legal system. "
Stephanie Coontz
System
Motivation
Legal
" One thing standing in the way of further progress for many men is the same obstacle that held women back for so long: overinvestment in their gender identity instead of their individual personhood. "
Stephanie Coontz
Identity
Women
Progress
" Historically, it has required a combination of favorable employment trends and active government intervention to lower the percentage of people in poverty and raise living standards for the working middle class. "
Stephanie Coontz
Government
Poverty
People
" Having more education is one of the biggest predictors of women having careers. "
Stephanie Coontz
Biggest
More
Women
" I've had the kind of complex life I write about. I was a single mother for 12 years. I'd been engaged. The wedding fell through. I then discovered I was pregnant and opted to have the child on my own. I was a professor. I was in my mid-30s. I could manage it financially. "
Stephanie Coontz
Life
My Own
Mother
" Trump made his fortune manipulating tax laws and stiffing small businessmen, creating a few well-paying jobs along the way. Vulnerable people looking to master 'the art of the deal' learned the hard way that Trump held all the cards. "
Stephanie Coontz
People
Looking
Art
" During the 1960s, rising real wages for low-income and high-income workers, due in part to rapid economic growth and the spread of unionization, worked in tandem with expanding government support systems to improve Americans' well-being. "
Stephanie Coontz
Government
Growth
Well-Being
" Feminism insists on women's right to make choices - about whether to marry, whether to have children, whether to combine work and family or to focus on one over the other. It also urges men and women to share the joys and burdens of family life and calls on society to place a higher priority on supporting caregiving work. "
Stephanie Coontz
Children
Life
Men
" Establishing a 'livable wage' floor would immediately reduce the gap in average pay between American women and men. "
Stephanie Coontz
American
Women
Men
" Second marriages can and do create 'real' families. "
Stephanie Coontz
Real
Create
Marriages
" You can't judge a family's health by the form it's in at a given moment. "
Stephanie Coontz
You
Health
Form
" In 1992, I critiqued the panic over growing family diversity. My skepticism about the doomsayers has since been proven correct. "
Stephanie Coontz
Panic
Over
Diversity
" Valentine's Day is a perfect time to reject the idea that the ideal man is taller, richer, more knowledgeable, more renowned, or more powerful. "
Stephanie Coontz
Man
More
Perfect
" Usually, Valentine's Day comes and goes with just a day or two of news media attention to courtship and marriage. "
Stephanie Coontz
Day
Media
News
" There's nothing wrong with celebrating the good things in our past. But memories, like witnesses, do not always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We need to cross-examine them, recognizing and accepting the inconsistencies and gaps in those that make us proud and happy as well as those that cause us pain. "
Stephanie Coontz
Happy
Memories
Truth
" The notion that marriage is an impediment to commitments to the larger community is a long-standing one - and one reason early Christians did not place the institution at the top of their moral hierarchy, complaining that married couples cared more about pleasing each other than doing the Lord's work. "
Stephanie Coontz
Moral
Marriage
Work