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" As a kid, I certainly never thought I would get to spend my life doing something fun. "

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" I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I'll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points, and then I'll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story. "

" So I'm one of the few celebrities that got to do a repeat performance on 'The Simpsons,' which I'm very flattered by. "

" You fake something until you're good at it. "

" When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience. "

" As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy. "

" As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not. "

" It's hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on. "

" The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years. "

" Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me. "

" I did have a child, and I was reading a lot of picture books to her, but at the same time writing a children's book was something that I'd been wanting to do for many years, pretty much since the start of my career. "

" Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm. "

" I'm very analytical, I'm very precise. "

" I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing. "

" What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat? "

" My personal taste doesn't enter into it a lot when I make my decisions as to what to parody. "

" There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea. "

" One of my pet peeves is that sometimes the talents of my band get overlooked because, and it was the same problem that Frank Zappa had, with a lot of groups that use humor, people don't realize there's a lot of craft behind the comedy. "

" Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really. "

" I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, 'OK, this is what I'm going to do for a living and I'm going to be Weird Al.' "

" You don't need to be defined by your job. "

" So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit. "

" I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible. "

" I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know. "

" At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute. "