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" Baseball is the favorite American sport because it's so slow. Any idiot can follow it. And just about any idiot can play it. "

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" I am not, at heart, a playwright. "

" It is very difficult for a writer of my generation, if he is honest, to pretend indifference to the work of Somerset Maugham. He was always so entirely there. "

" On 16 September 1985, when the Commerce Department announced that the United States had become a debtor nation, the American Empire died. "

" What the Kinseyites and I had in common so long ago was the knowledge that homosexual and heterosexual behavior are natural to all mammals, and that what differs from individual to individual is the balance between these two complementary but not necessarily conflicted drives. "

" Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale. "

" I didn't mean to spend my life writing American history, which should have been taught in the schools, but I saw no alternative but to taking it on myself. I could think of a lot of cheerier things I'd rather be doing than analyzing George Washington and Aaron Burr. But it came to pass, that was my job, so I did it. "

" No sooner does an American president take his oath of office than the speculation begins: Will he be reelected in four years' time? If not, who will succeed him? A member of his own party? The other party? "

" Like the TV networks, once our government has a hit, it will be repeated over and over again. "

" In the writing of novels, there is the problem of how to shape a narrative. "

" My father once said something very shrewd about me to a woman journalist who had told him how courageous she thought I was for always speaking my mind. My father said, 'If you couldn't care less what anyone says about you, then it's not courage.' "

" Envy is the central fact of American life. "

" When I say 'president,' I still mean Roosevelt - wisely, I think. "

" Washington turned a blind eye to Al-Qaeda. "

" In character, as it were, the writer settles for an impression of what happened rather than creating the sense of the thing happening. "

" I think there is an instinct out there to rid us of our masters. "

" He who is last had best laugh. "

" What I like least about myself is my belligerence. "

" All children alarm their parents, if only because you are forever expecting to encounter yourself. "

" We are pleased to dismiss politics as entirely corrupt, if not financially, intellectually. "

" I know a lot of the Annapolis breed. "

" Primarily, I am a prose writer with axes to grind, and the theatre is a good place to do the grinding in. I prefer comedy to 'serious' drama because I believe one can get the ax sharper on the comedic stone. "

" Temperamentally, I am suspicious of belonging to anything. When I ran for office, I debated seriously whether or not to run as an independent because I was not eager to be saddled with the Democratic Party, because any party label is committing. "

" I'm not a conspiracy theorist - I'm a conspiracy analyst. "

" Love is not my bag. "

" I'm exactly as I appear. There is no warm, lovable person inside. Beneath my cold exterior, once you break the ice, you find cold water. "

" Until the rise of American advertising, it never occurred to anyone anywhere in the world that the teenager was a captive in a hostile world of adults. "

" I sometimes think it is because they are so bad at expressing themselves verbally that writers take to pen and paper in the first place. "

" It is always a delicate matter, when a friend or acquaintance becomes president. "

" Europe began as the relatively empty, uncivilized Wild West of Asia; then the Western Hemisphere became the Wild West of Europe. Now the sun has set in our West and risen once more in the East. "

" I'm a fervent foe of water pollution, whether it is our own Hudson River or Philadelphia's tap water. "