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" Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair. "

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" Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right. "

" I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one. "

" I've decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully - in about 200 years time. "

" I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud. "

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" Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes. "

" Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life. "

" They say Rome wasn't built in a day, but I wasn't on that particular job. "

" Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive. "

" When I go, God's going to have to give up his favourite chair. "

" The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years. "

" Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off 'cos they'd have worked it out for themselves. "