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" Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent. "

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" My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool. "

" I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution. "

" If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel. "

" He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. "

" No wise man ever wished to be younger. "

" Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own. "

" Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others. "

" Invention is the talent of youth, as judgment is of age. "

" Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder. "

" Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced. "

" Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest. "

" Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly. "

" Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth. "

" Better belly burst than good liquor be lost. "

" Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting. "

" Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old. "

" Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind. "

" We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. "

" Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want. "

" Where I am not understood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath. "

" Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent. "

" Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions. "

" The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes. "

" Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room. "

" The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable, for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit. "

" A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle. "

" There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake. "

" For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery. "

" Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth, and judgment of age. "

" I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. "