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" Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics. "
" The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake. "
" Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. "
" Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized. "
" Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. "
" In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders. "
" Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar. "
" I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind. "
" If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow. "
" If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war. "