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" Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics. "
Steve Allen
Perhaps
Dark
Mystery
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" The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake. "
Steve Allen
Head
Hair
Fake
" Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. "
Steve Allen
Improve
Politicians
Government
" Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized. "
Steve Allen
Patriotism
Totalitarianism
" Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots. "
Steve Allen
Over
Humor
Bad
" In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders. "
Steve Allen
Rational
Want
Teachers
" Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar. "
Steve Allen
Me
More
Bother
" I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind. "
Steve Allen
Mind
Lost
Mental
" If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow. "
Steve Allen
Tomorrow
Punishment
People
" If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war. "
Steve Allen
Holy
Disgust
God