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" Everyone always told me that I had the symptoms of a P.O.W. "

Darrell Hammond

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" I called my mother up and I said, 'You know, I've been to the best doctors in the world and I've spent almost half a million dollars and they're telling me I have symptoms of a P.O.W. and all I did was grow up in your home.' "

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" I was never in a mental institution for a long time. I was in psych wards. "

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" It's tough to play the right chord on the instrument when there's someone out there who wants to kill you. "

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" I ran into an extraordinary doctor. He got up inside my head and figured out how my brain processed things, what my core values were, what my inner dialogue was. "

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" I have to give the SNL crew props - it cannot have been easy to work with me. "

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" I don't know if I want to be a big star though. "

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" If you're injured, it changes the way you move. If you're injured, it changes the way you talk. "

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" Doctors didn't know what to do with me. "

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" The danger with running for president is sooner or later some sound bite is going hit. "

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" I was diagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to multiple personality disorder. "

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" Performing with anthrax in the building is not nearly as difficult as performing in a home where you might get stabbed at night. "

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" I've become fascinated by the idea that it's really achievable to make two or three small improvements in a week and by the end of the year, it's 150 improvements. "

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" I'll get to make a lot of money and do some bad sitcoms. "

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" I've seen the hell these people go through. "

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" I perform in the major leagues of what I do. It's incredible. "

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" Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head. "

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" College kids, don't be taking examples from me. "

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" I've learned sometimes you just have to take the bad from people. "

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