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" Fake is as old as the Eden tree. "

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" I would rather be on the set than doing anything. "

" The two things you cannot do effectively on stage are pray and copulate. "

" Look at the real prodigies, and I look like nothing compared to them. "

" Gluttony is not a secret vice. "

" On my tombstone, I want written: 'He never did 'Love Boat!' "

" The laws and the stage, both are a form of exhibitionism. "

" I have always been more interested in experiment, than in accomplishment. "

" I think I made essential a mistake in staying in movies, because I - but it's a mistake I can't regret, because it's like saying, 'I shouldn't have stayed married to that woman, but I did because I love her.' "

" I never said I was a genius. "

" The essential is to excite the spectators. If that means playing Hamlet on a flying trapeze or in an aquarium, you do it. "

" There were centuries when civilization had no theater. "

" The classy gangster is a Hollywood invention. "

" Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me. "

" My mother and father were both much more remarkable than any story of mine can make them. They seem to me just mythically wonderful. "

" The first thing one must remember about film is that it is a young medium. And it is essential for every responsible artist to cultivate the ground that has been left fallow. "

" Everything bad that has ever happened to me has been caused by agents or lawyers. "

" When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends. "

" They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies. "

" I don't pray because I don't want to bore God. "

" I prefer the old masters, by which I mean John Ford, John Ford, and John Ford. "

" I'm never certain of a performance - my own or the other actors' - or the script or anything... But to me it seems there's only one place in the world the camera can be, and the decision usually comes immediately. "

" Movie directing is a perfect refuge for the mediocre. "

" My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. "

" We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. "

" Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him. "

" Did you ever stop to think why cops are always famous for being dumb? Simple. Because they don't have to be anything else. "

" If I don't like somebody's looks, I don't like them. "

" One shouldn't ever be conscious of the author as lecturer. When social or moral points are too heavily stressed, I always get uncomfortable. "

" I was spoiled in a very strange way as a child, because everybody told me, from the moment I was able to hear, that I was absolutely marvelous, and I never heard a discouraging word for years, you see. I didn't know what was ahead of me. "

" The best thing commercially, which is the worst artistically, by and large, is the most successful. "